Firstly, do we need a book to know how to be happy? Happiness is a feeling which comes from within. It cannot come by reading books. No one else in the world knows us better than ourselves. Only ‘We’ know what makes us the happiest. For some it is the latest gadget while for some it’s the best jewelry. Some people even get happy when they get the food they like while some others find happiness in success. Some of us get a thrill out of creative effort while some of us find happiness in our family or friends. It’s totally up to us to realize what makes us happy. Some people can earn Rs10 a day and sleep happily while others earning 10,000 a day might not be happy. It’s just our state of mind.

One thing common among all the people on earth is Pursuit of happiness. Someone rightly said “What we want from life is continuous and genuine happiness”. We all have only one motto in life – to be HAPPY. Some want to be successful to be happy, some want to be rich to be happy while some want to be famous to be happy.

Since childhood, we have known happiness as a conditional feeling. For example, as a kid, if you got a new toy you were happy. Slowly it graduated to good marks, good job, good pay, nice family….. We learnt to get happy on conditions. If I buy a new car I will be happy. If I can buy a new house I will be happy. Most of the times we relate happiness with things that have not happened.

We human beings have this common habit of forgetting the joys and remembering the bad times. We never ever think of being happy with what we have. I don’t say that we should not pursue success, money, fame or love. I just want us to remember the reason why we want success, money, fame or love. We always see happiness as something that will happen tomorrow. We forget to experience it today. The desperation, need or anxiety to achieve the means of happiness does not let us find happiness around us. There is no secret for happiness which we do not know or which a book can tell us. Everything is within us. We should learn to look inward for happiness. Care for people around you, try to make someone happy, and try to enjoy the life you have. Be grateful for what ever you have and you will be happy. Don’t relate happiness with future. It is in your present.

If you are already happy, your attitude towards your goals changes. You are more confident in your approach. Be happy that you have friends and family to share your sorrows. Be happy that you have not been struck by a calamity or tragedy. Be happy that you have a good home to live in and good food to eat.

Let us start being happy with ourselves first and other things will come on their own. Happiness does not need any investment. It just needs a mindset that we are happy. Being satisfied and happy gives you the feeling of joy and bliss which I guess is the ultimate aim of our every action. Let us not forget to be happy in this pursuit of happiness.Similar Posts:

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The one speech I personally loved, albeit not attended live, was made by Mr. CV Narasimhan as part of introducing MS Subbulakshmi to the United Nations audience. It epitomized brevity, but stayed with me for a long time. It took me many years to relate to what it was about the message that stayed with me for that long. Eventually, it dawned upon me that it wasn’t the hidden message, because there was none! The simplicity in the message, the clarity of conveying the same, and the unpolluted mind that was speaking the thought was the magic bullet.

I have been fortunate to have had the opportunity to address a group of graduating students. Though not in the scale of the cherished and prized names and faces, it was an opportunity for me to pick on what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it. For without that opportunity, the whole thought of how to convey a message that stays in people’s minds longer, wouldn’t have dawned upon me at all. People speak of preparations for a speech and holding the audience’s attention, etc – I have never had problems with any of it, and even humbly claim to have excelled in delivering technical and technology notes, but messaging a personal thought or addressing an audience with the goal of motivating them for their lives ahead was a different matter altogether.

It was the spring of 2006 and as circumstances would have it, I was requested to talk on stage to the graduating masters’ class of VTU (Visweswariah Technological University, the umbrella of engineering schools, in Karnataka – a province in Southern India). Half way through the preparation of the slides, I was left pondering – “these students have had the opportunity to attend some of the best schools in the province, and they aren’t looking for any more expertise there; neither am I qualified to make grand speeches of yore…so what do I talk about and more so, what do I want them to remember from today?”

Eventually, I spoke of the humble beginnings in my career, how people around me played a part in my growth and the importance of networking well, how I made the choice to join my employer from campus nearly a decade earlier, and more interestingly – how I made the transition from acquiring theoretical knowledge to applying them to practical experiences. In hindsight, that wasn’t the best message I could have delivered that day.

Instead, if I could just have gotten up on stage and uttered the two words that mattered to me in my career, and ones I try to live upon everyday, that would have possibly driven home my take on beginning a professional career in their chosen fields. It was well appreciated as I got to hear later, but the personal satisfaction wasn’t there – it was at the back of my mind, and sure enough, gained prominence when I became exposed to the graduation and commencement speeches this season.

CNBC, whose blogs I follow ardently, (thanks to the plethora of tools that make them stare in your face) had one article on the same lines. Instantly, it made an impact on me and I am indebted to the author for clarifying a nascent thought within me, that was seeking light of the day. In a country where graduation speeches are hounded by political and economic media – for economists or politicians are the chosen messiahs to deliver messages, more often than not – with the same fervor as paparazzi chasing the social news makers, there is no dearth of graduation messages at this time of the year.

Wonder if the prominent and noteworthy orators consider it worth their salt to take a leaf out of Churchill’s book, without of course quoting him!Similar Posts:

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To an extent, I would say it is good but we are losing the charm of enjoying life while running after everything in life. There is no time to enjoy the hard work we are putting into making our future secure and better. We look down upon people who were born few years before us as they struggle to catch up with the new world and new technologies. Our patience levels are so low that we get bored with things in days or in few hours too in some cases. We buy the latest music player or mobile phone today and get bored of it after a week. Change is the buzz word. We want everything bigger and better and we cannot wait for things to happen. We all are running after everything so much so that we do not want to stop and see if there is a better option available with a little patience and little thinking.

We do not want to wait at the traffic signals; we do not want to wait in the queues. We do not even wait for our salary (hail the credit cards, we can shop now and pay later) to buy what we want. Maps are a passé; we want GPS systems in our cars, phones, (may be in our minds too in sometime). We want everything at finger tips and at our call. We want bigger homes and better cars. We want the latest gadgets and the best holidays. This impatience has made us intolerable to a great extent. Our wants are growing at a faster pace than the availability of choices. Amidst this run for life, are we forgetting to be happy? Aren’t we becoming more frustrated with life?

We want to get happiness out of the virtual world. We have forgotten the beautiful planet we live on. We do not want to stop by and see the beauty around us, we do not look at the rainbows anymore (I wonder if the kids today even know what a rainbow is), we do not like to find faces in the clouds anymore, we have forgotten how fresh breeze feels as we work in AC offices and commute in AC transport. We meet our friends on Face book. We change our jobs like our clothes. We have stopped putting efforts to solve things or to get out of situations. Anything that stops our speed has to be chucked out of life. We have started walking in and out of marriages like we walk in and out of stores. We do not want to understand and adjust. We do not want to give second chance to anything. We have forgotten that we human beings have the privilege of expressing ourselves, being creative and enjoying life. Lot of options does not mean running after or accumulating everything available to make life better. We are trying to change our lives as we change the channels on the TV.

We are always in a hurry. I don’t know if it is good or bad to have things at your call but it sure is taking away the excitement of things we used to enjoy as kids. Life is becoming a struggle between keeping our weights down and spirits up. We talk more to people on face book than to people around us. Everything and everyone is just a click away but yet we are not content. We are not happy with anything in life. We first yearn for everything and then want to run away from it. The contentment we had as kids is missing in our fast paced, impatient lives.

Once upon a time when life was simpler we had the luxury of coming home from school and heading out to play for hours. We would wait for 6 days to watch Mickey Mouse on Sunday mornings, we used to call up our friends or meet them to talk to them. There were not social networking sites but we still bonded with friends. Once upon a time when life was good we would wait for festivals like Diwali to eat special food prepared by our moms, we used to wait for summer holidays to play out whole day. Once upon a time we actually used to live life and not exist.

Today the games we play are on computers, we can watch the programmes we want on the 50+ channels available 24×7. There is no need for us to wait for special occasions to eat special sweets or food. All that is just a phone call away. Our impatience and the need to have things when we demand has changed our lives completed and today we just exist running after everything we see. Whether we need that or not does not matter. We have everything but we are not happy with anything. Has the availability of money, technology come at a cost of our happiness? Is that the cause of our impatience?

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“You have to be fearful when others are greedy and be greedy when others are fearful”.

Warren was referring to the “ideal” strategy to adopt when dealing with the stock market. The old adage “where there is a will, there is a way” can be rechristened to reflect the new-age saying “where there is risk, there is a reward”. It’s definitely not Boolean as in there is guaranteed reward when risk is present, or vice-versa. All it does is increase the possibility that one might be more successful when taking risks, than when compared to not taking risks at all.

Risk and Reward are two words that have always gone well together – like peanut butter and jelly in some ways because one is sweet and the other salty! The culinary experts advocate a pinch of salt in the most sweetest of desserts to give it a nice twinge – maybe they need to be told the reference to risk and reward!!

Back to mainline, I read an excellent article on ‘risk and reward’ in the weekend Financial Post newspaper (yes a physical paper on hand, which is fast becoming oblivious!) that could be best summarized by one line that the author beautifully put in, to describe risk taking.

Here is my attempt at quoting the article (not verbatim):

“Risk taking is by no means consistent as it extends across avenues. A person who is an extremely careful driver on the streets could be the most carefree when he is in a casino. On the other hand, someone who is extremely careful and avoids risk taking in his financial aspect of life could be the most reckless when on the streets.”

The essence of what the author’s statement meant, or rather what yours truly interpreted it to be, is simple – risk appetite is not just unique to individuals but also unique to areas of life the very same individuals choose to apply it to. You cannot, by any stretch of imagination, choose to be consistent in risk taking. Neither is anyone’s appetite to risk taking consistent across all walks of life.

I was curious, when I read this article, as to the link between one’s risk appetite and their general personality. Interestingly enough, there is a whole scientific community that has delved into this aspect. I for one have been risk averse all the way to one end of the pendulum, and I believe part of it comes with the territory and the culture – the role one’s upbringing plays in determining the intangible aspects of decision making in life couldn’t be more apparent than risk appetite for example.

What’s your risk appetite? Have you seen rewards commensurate with it?

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Gesture: Brisk, erect walk
Meaning: Confidence

Gesture: Standing with hands on hips
Meaning: Readiness, aggression

Gesture: Sitting with legs crossed, foot kicking slightly
Meaning: Boredom

Gesture: Sitting legs apart
Meaning: Open, relaxed

Gesture: Arms crossed on chest
Meaning: Defensiveness

Gesture: Walking with hands in pockets, shoulders hunched
Meaning: Dejection

Gesture: Hand to cheek
Meaning: Evaluation, thinking

Gesture: Touching, slightly rubbing nose
Meaning: Rejection, doubt, lying

Gesture: Rubbing the eye
Meaning: Doubt, disbelief

Gesture: Hands clasped behind back
Meaning: Anger, frustration, apprehension

Gesture: Locked ankles
Meaning: uneasiness

Gesture: Head resting in hand, eyes downcast
Meaning: Boredom

Gesture: Rubbing hands
Meaning: Anticipation

Gesture: Sitting with hands clasped behind head, legs crossed
Meaning: Confidence, superiority

Gesture: Open palm
Meaning: Sincerity, openness, innocence

Gesture: Pinching bridge of nose, eyes closed
Meaning: Negative evaluation

Gesture: Tapping or drumming fingers
Meaning: Impatience

Gesture: Steepling fingers(fingertips touch, forming a shape like a church steeple)
Meaning: Authoritative

Gesture: Patting/fondling hair
Meaning: Lack of self-confidence; insecurity

Gesture: Quickly tilted head
Meaning: Interest

Gesture: Stroking chin
Meaning: Trying to make a decision

Gesture: Looking down, face turned away
Meaning: Disbelief

Gesture: Biting nails
Meaning: Insecurity, nervousness

Gesture: Pulling or tugging at ear
Meaning: Indecision

Gesture: Prolonged tilted head
Meaning: Boredom

Gesture: Biting lips
Meaning: Anticipating something.

Gesture: Looking to the side
Meaning: Feeling guilty.

You may try to fake your body language to give a different signal to others after studying all these. You may succeed awhile; your body language will reveal the real ‘you’ ultimately without you recognizing it!

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Barry brings up a job description of a typical janitor in a nursing home or hospital and speaks of how the particular job function is so different from ones we encounter in our daily lives – the difference between that of a janitor involves practically no human interaction for 99.99% of the associated tasks. The excellent underlying thought here being that any job description that involves human interactions has to have a scope that is not so rigidly defined so as to limit practical wisdom influencing the daily operations and allowing one to ‘do the right thing’.

The anecdote from the talk that had an impact on me was the specific one relating to how a father buys lemonade at a concession stand for his young son without realizing that it has a small alcohol content. The series of events that unfold separate the father and the son for nearly 3 weeks; more interestingly and rather curiously, the story notes how at every step of the way – the emergency worker, the judge, etc say that it seems awkward but that they are bound by the rules and regulations that govern their daily lives and determine every specific sequence of action they have to follow.

Coming to our daily lives, I am sure each one of us has at least one pet peeve that is a repetitive part of our job which we have very logical reasons for doing differently, but as the obedient soles that we are, don’t disturb the hornet’s nest. If in our daily roles, as empowering leaders, we can create the space for the teams to be that much more practical in following the rules, we would make our workplaces that much better than we found it in the first place. As Barry notes, rules and regulations are a must and even necessary evil of the society for it would be chaos without them. Where we have to make a distinction is to realize where human interactions are involved, and when dealing with these ‘moral’ roles, create the space for individuals to exhibit their practical wisdom. By creating more rules, and incentives for following the rules, we are creating a society that rewards what might actually be expected behavior in the first place.

The anecdote about how having nuclear waste dumps in the local community evoked drastically different responses from Swiss citizen polls, when an incentive was added to the offer, shows how incentives become counterproductive sometimes as you start evaluating ‘benefits’ from following rules. Where people considered it as a responsibility and a duty in the first place became a calculation of whether it was ‘worth’ the incentive.

Considering Barry’s rare expertise in analyzing the economics side of human psychology, he couldn’t help bringing up the fact that the incentives (bonuses) augmenting the rules being part of the economic problems we are dealing with. His proposed solution to fixing the markets isn’t more rules and regulation, neither he is advocating more ethics courses. Rather, in a refreshing way, the onus is on individuals to be “moral exemplars” in every opportune moment, every day of life.

As a frequent listener to Barry Schwartz and other prominent speakers whose lectures revolve around human psychology, I can attest to time spent listening to TED lectures, as being well spent. Here is the complete 20-min talk.

Video Source: TED.com

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Women send approximately five times more body language messages and gestures than men in the same time period. Body language has proven to be our most reliable indicator of how others feel about us

Know how unconsciously you are sending signals through your body language.

Wiping Sweaty Hands onto Your Clothes

A sign of frantic nervousness. If your hands are sweating, just let them sweat. Take a few deep breaths and try to relax.

Sitting On The Edge of Your Chair

A clear indication of being mentally and physically uncomfortable. It’s an apprehensive stance that will make others around you feel uncomfortable as well. Keep your rear end firmly planted on the surface of the seat. When you lean forward, use your back without moving your bottom.

Foot and Finger Tapping

Usually indicates stress, impatience or boredom. Monitor your habits and practice keeping your limbs at rest.

Using Your Hands to Fidget with Small Objects

A pen, paper ball, etc. This is another sign of anxiety. It can also be interpreted as a lack of preparedness. It’s always best to keep your hands comfortably at rest when you’re in the presence of others.

Repeatedly Shifting Body Weight from Foot to Foot

This is another gesture that usually indicates mental and physical discomfort. People may also see this and assume that you’re ready to abandon the conversation, especially if you’re not directly facing them. Don’t shift your feet around more than once every 2 to 3 minutes

Mirroring

Mirroring is another common gesture. If someone mirrors or mimics your appearance and actions, this is a very genuine sign that they are interested in you.

Nervous gestures

If someone brushes his hair back with their fingers, his thoughts are about something conflicting with yours. They might not voice this. If you see raised eyebrows during this time, you can be pretty sure that they disagree with you. If the person wears glasses, and is constantly pushing them up onto their nose again, with a slight frown, that may also indicate they disagree with what you are saying. If they are playing or fiddling with their hair (a girl may twirl a lock of her tresses around a finger), they are feeling self-conscious and possibly uncomfortable.

Dilated pupils

The eyes play a very important part. Dilated pupils mean that the person is interested. Keep in mind, however, that alcohol or any intoxicant may cause pupils to dilate.

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Know how unconsciously you are sending signals through your body language.

Resting Hands Behind the Head or on the Hips

Usually interpreted as a sign of superiority or bigheadedness.

Increasing Your Rate of Blinking

A clear sign of anxiety. Some people start blinking their eyes really fast (in conjunction with an increased heart rate) when they get nervous. Since most people try to make eye contact, it becomes immediately obvious to others.

Not Directly Facing the Person You’re Speaking To

This indicates a certain level of discomfort or a lack of interest. When we’re happily engaged in a conversation we face the person we’re speaking to with our feet and torso facing directly forward. When we’re unsure of the other person, or not completely committed to the conversation, we tend to angle our feet and torso to the side

Crossing Your Arms

A sign of defensive resistance. Some people may also interpret it as a sign of self-centeredness.

Displaying a Sluggish Posture

When you’re in an environment bustling with people your posture becomes an immediate telltale sign of your confidence and composure. Your stance literally makes a stand for you, delivering a clear message about how you should be treated. It can make a huge difference in the way strangers respond to you. Place your feet a comfortable distance apart, keep your shoulders pulled back, head up and greet people with direct eye contact and a firm handshake.

Scratching at the Backside of Your Head and Neck

A typical sign of doubt and uncertainty. It can also be interpreted as an indication of lying. Try to keep your hands away from your head when you’re communicating with others.

Messing With the Collar of Your Shirt

It screams: “I feel horribly uncomfortable and/or nervous!”

Slouching Your Shoulders

Indicates low self-esteem. People associate perked-up shoulders with strong self-confidence. Always pull your shoulders back. Not only will you look more confident, you’ll feel more confident as well.

Standing with Your Hands Crossed Over Your Genitals

This casual posture almost guarantees that you’ll lose a little respect before you even have the chance to speak a single word. People feeling nervous or unsure of themselves will unconsciously take this position. This stance pushes your shoulders forward and makes your entire body look smaller and weaker.

Propping Up Your Head With Your Hands

“I’m getting bored!” Never prop up your head with your elbows and hands during a conversation. Place your hands on the table in front of you and keep them at rest.

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About a decade back I studied materials on Body Language and observed people on this unconscious communication. The book said “after reading this the whole world will look different through your eyes”. I ventured to compile interesting facts on this subject. These may help you in your job interviews. Here they are.
It is found that only 7 percent of communication comes from spoken words, 38 percent is from the tone of the voice, and 55 percent comes from body language (non-verbal). Are you good at reading body language?

Body language messages are sent automatically and unconsciously. Women send approximately five times more body language messages and gestures than men in the same time period.

Body language has proven to be our most reliable indicator of how others feel about us. Know how unconsciously you are sending signals through your body language.

Holding Objects in Front of Your Body

A coffee cup, notebook, hand bag, etc. Holding objects in front of your body indicates shyness and resistance, such that you’re hiding behind the objects in an effort to separate yourself from others.

Checking the Time or Inspecting Your Fingernails

A strong sign of boredom. Never glance at the time when you’re speaking with someone. Likewise, completely avoid the act of inspecting your fingernails.

Picking Lint Off of Your Clothes

If you pick lint off of your clothes during a conversation, especially in conjunction with looking downwards, most people will assume that you disapprove of their ideas and/or feel uneasy about giving them an honest opinion

Stroking Your Chin While Looking at Someone

People frequently stroke their chin during the decision-making process. If you look at someone while you’re stroking your chin, they may assume that you’re making a judgmental decision about them.

Narrowing Your Eyes

If you want to give someone the impression that you don’t like them (or their ideas), you narrow your eyes while looking at them.

Standing Too Close

This just makes people feel uncomfortable. Most people consider the 4 square feet of space immediately surrounding their body to be personal space. Cross this invisible boundary with good friends and intimate mates only.

Looking Down While in the Presence of Others

Usually indicates disinterest. Sometimes it’s even interpreted as a casual sign of arrogance. Always look straight ahead and make eye contact when you see someone you know.

Touching Your Face During a Conversation

Face touching, especially on the nose, is commonly interpreted as an indication of deception. Also, covering up the mouth is a common gesture people make when they’re lying. Always keep your hands away from your face when you’re speaking.

Faking a Smile

Another sign of deception commonly seen on the face of a fraud. A genuine smile wrinkles the corners of the eyes and changes the expression of the entire face. Fake smiles only involve the mouth and lips. It’s easy to distinguish between the two

Leaning Away From Someone

This is especially true when they are sitting around a table. This is a sign of being bored and disinterested. People typically lean towards people they like and away from people they dislike.Similar Posts:

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1. Extraversion(E) or Introversion(I)

2. Sensing(S) or Intuition(N)

3. Thinking(T) or Feeling(F)

4. Judging(J) or Perceiving(P)

A personality type is a combination of the 4 preferences above. For example, one person’s personality type could be ENTJ and another could be ISFP. The details about these 16 types can be found here.You may find out your own personality type by visiting this link

M-B test has been quite popular in the corporate circles and is used in identifying an employee’s personality type and assigning tasks accordingly. Now, a website called Typealyzer has come up with a new tool that determines the M-B personality type of a blogger. Unlike the real test where one is required to answer a series of questions, determining the blog personality type is quite easy. Submit the link of a person’s blog website to Typealyzer and voila! – you get the blogger’s personality type.

I personally found this website very interesting. After finding out my own “blog” personality type, I ventured into finding the “blog” personality types of IndiaSpecial’s most popular authors like Kandamangalam, Mukund, Nars and others in the list. I was surprised by the pattern I found. I don’t want to spoil the fun by revealing what I found. So, find out for yourselfJ.

It would be interesting to understand the implications of this new tool, Typealyzer. Will bloggers start writing differently? What do you think?

Note: This article is based on a blog post by Rachel King that appeared in the Technology section of BusinessWeek magazine on March 22.

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Ever since stumbling upon an article this week on “Group Coherence”, as part of my discovery of applying Agile principles to software development and management, I have been thinking if as a society we have started favoring group achievements over individual brilliance. For long, I have heard that teamwork is essential and the most key ingredient to success, which I do not disagree with even for a bit. Also, lest I am construed as favoring prima donnas, my position on this is far from it.

Rather, I am left wondering how much of an impact the evolution of mankind has had in the past century in moving away from celebrating individual achievements to relishing team backed successes.

There are definitely individual beacons still around in every industry – the folks that have made a name for themselves through their own sheer hard work or by channelizing the genius in them towards making hallmark accomplishments. But they are also far and few between, and none that can walk or talk on the same plane as the fathers of every field of science or medicine, as we have come to call them.

I am reminded of an anecdote where Einstein’s chauffeur apparently chided him once that questions posed to him after his lectures were so simple that even he could answer them. Einstein offered his chauffeur to take his place on the stage for the next lecture because people then didn’t know him by face all over. Apparently so intriguing was this experience for the chauffeur, upon being posed questions, that he told the audience “since these aren’t worth my while, I will ask my chauffeur who’s sitting in the audience (the real Einstein) to address these”!!!

Looking beyond the presence of mind and the intellect that even Einstein’s chauffeur possessed, this brings up a very important aspect of the society then – individuals were celebrated but the real glory went to the work and the person doing it was more of a medium that they saw the work through. This explains the anonymity of the face, but not the name.

My reasoning for our current situation is as follows: since the era of the Newtons and the Edisons, over time, we have probably moved to a point where the individual got more prominence than the work itself. Now, the course correction in our evolution kicked in and we are balancing it by going to the other extreme of not looking upon individual brilliance on the same footing as much as we delve upon ‘group coherence’.

Every scientist that shares something valuable to the world now has a research team behind him or her; every innovation we see has a group associated against it, even a cursory glance at the recent history of patents I have been looking at from the US Patent and Trademark office has a whole list of names on each one, and the list goes on…

I am not immune to this transformation either: I have also been touting the team spirit horn on my teams at every available opportunity. For me the awakening has begun. For the benefit of getting others to jump on this bandwagon, let’s look at it this way: there was never a better time to reevaluate our perspective on individual achievements and our broad reactions to it.

Make no mistake – playing by the team and working as part of a larger ecosystem is more important today than ever before, but let us consciously make an attempt to encourage and reward individual brilliance as well.

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Apparently, a very well educated and highly literate but arrogant scholar was crossing a river in a boat, and he had this ensuing conversation with the boatman:

Scholar: Are you familiar with Sahitya (literature)?

Boatman: No, Sir, rowing the boat is my sole means of livelihood and I have had no opportunity to become familiar with it.

S: A quarter of your life is wasted then; have you at least encountered Alankaara Shastra, which is a very deeply regarded aspect of human lives?

B: No Swamiji, I am not familiar with it…

S: Then another quarter of your life is wasted because it is a beautiful thing you have missed in life. Are you at least familiar with the language – Sanskrit – which is the language of understanding and describing intelligent aspects of the world?

B: No Sir, I am not familiar with it…

S: Then another quarter of your life is wasted for you haven’t had a chance to touch upon any of these divine literary pieces.

<The boatman continued to row, understanding the scholar doesn’t understand his position in life….a little while later, the boatman sees a hole in their boat>

B: Sir, are you familiar with “tharana vidhya” (for those who aren’t aware, this is the art of swimming!)

S: No, I am not…

B: Then, Sir, your full life is wasted for we have a hole which is allowing water to seep in….

And then the boatman jumps overboard onto the river and swims his way to safety while apparently the scholar drowns. The speaker in the audio book used this as an example to say that one might be an expert in physics, botany, whatever. But, if one does not have the knowledge to cross over the sorrow and the stress and have what it takes to tide over it, then all of the other acquired knowledge is useless.

What is this stress?

I do not wish to go into the specifics of the entire discourse for this would become a book instead of an article! Essentially, the speaker categorizes the answer to this question into 3 areas – (1) understanding oneself and realizing what materialism (distinguishing between wants and needs) is for there is richness in poverty and poverty in richness; (2) the aspect of living in a state of joy by staying in the present at all times; (3) operating from a sense of emptiness and fullness according to the situation on hand.

If I were to summarize it all in one simple sentence – we should begin to think of every thought we have as not affecting us but rather looking at ourselves as an empty space where thoughts come and go, it leads to a sense of not being attached to emotions. He uses another aspect of daily life to explain this -
“When you are at home, you think of work; when at work, you think of elsewhere and so on……”. By this, one is not able to be in the moment and experience the moment.

Apparently, the story behind “Chidambara Rahasya” (“rahasya” means secret; for those who aren’t aware, it refers to the empty spot behind the Nataraja statue within the Chidambaram temple in South India) is that it is the symbolic reference to the operating with emptiness. When you have a thought that is negative, it symbolizes a need to have an emptiness, which is a state that you need to take on so that it is the thought that visits you and leaves you, and the thought itself does not become you.

This, according to this expert on people behavior, is the best approach to tackling stress. The beauty of this approach is that it automatically addresses a number of things:  – looking at other people and actions as just that and not making inferences, objective approach to every situation, not carrying baggage from the past, isolating negative thoughts from influencing actions, and most importantly helping deal with daily obstacles in life.

I don’t mean to say that it’s a simple open and close book case or a simple matter of solving a logical puzzle. I personally tried practicing this “staying in the moment” in the past week or so (part of the reason behind my abstinence from posting any article in this period as I wanted to try this before preaching it) and tried to really consciously stay in the moment every single second that I was awake.

It was really hard at the beginning as I found my thoughts wandering all the time but I found that once I was able to exert control onto myself consciously in the form of being in the moment, I started looking at possible approaches to daily situations that I am not sure I would have thought of, earlier. Those who know me would say I am not of the kind that gets stressed very easily, but I can honestly see the positive impact this simple approach has had in my life already.

I have by no means perfected it yet. I am sharing this in the hope that it really makes someone’s day, or goes at least some level towards alleviating the stress of someone reading this article – that, my friends, would make my day!!!

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Given the quantum of bad news floating around, it is only natural that you are a part of it. And asking one to be happy during these times, may be even considered silly.

I am a regular viewer of Nightly News with Brian Williams at MSNBC. A few days back he made a casual remark that there is so much of bad news around that he was reporting, he wanted to give it a break and asked the audience to share any good news that they have come across and that the same would be broadcasted in MSNBC.

What ended as a casual remark turned out to be a blessing in disguise for Brian. He received over a thousand stories that conveyed the feel good factor. As per their website MSNBC.,

One of his viewers recently wrote to urge Williams to begin and end each broadcast with some “good news” to lift people’s spirits. He can’t make any promises about the top of the newscast.

“We can get half of that right,” he said. “We can give her half of her wish.”

The point that I am trying to make is that it is so important to be happy during these days. If not for anything else, the mental strength that you gain by being happy is unimaginable. As someone said, the key to happiness is keeping things in perspective when the time gets tough. Happiness is all about controlling one’s emotions, keeping the right state of mind without overly getting affected.

While it is important to worry about extremely important things in life, it is equally important to keep ourselves reminded of the good things that we have done and the memorable times that we’ve shared with our loved ones.

So, the key question is – are you happy ?

If you are still clueless about your state of mind, I’d suggest that you take an Authentic Happiness Inventory Questionnaire at AuthenticHappiness.org, an initiative promoted by the University of Pennsylvania (a.k.a. UPenn). It is a questionnaire with 24 very interesting questions. ( Unfortunately, you will have to register with them to get access to)

Can a questionnaire tell you how unhappy you are what you’ve never been able to find out yourselves ? Well, there is nothing wrong in trying and more so, if it is from an authentic source. Many eminent psychologists also concur. After all, maintaining the balance is the key to not feeling anxious and overwhelmed by disturbing news, time and again.

As Albert Schweitzer, the famous physician, philosopher, theologian and the 1952 Nobel Peace Prize winner, once said

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.

Now, I stick to my original statement-Don’t Worry, Be Happy!

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These days it is seen as important for one to highlight one’s contributions in a competitive workspace – in avenues like the performance reviews, there is a specific opportunity for the individual (by way of what’s referred to as self appraisals) to highlight one’s own contribution. The highlighting of performance I am referring to is beyond this – something that I have come to understand in various high-performance coaching and mentoring classes that I was recently exposed to. Delving into leading high-performing teams, the instructors encourage the leadership to actually start pushing the teams to exhibit the “be in your face” attitude to visibility.

This is being spoken of as the mantra for being aggressive at work and thereby successful at being visible. As with any quality, anything that is overdone becomes its own detriment. It’s a thin line to tread between being humble about one’s contributions versus a public display of one’s achievements. Where exactly do we draw this line?

I don’t have the specific answers or possess the unique judgmental ability to distinguish a specific case that borders on either side of this. But I do know one thing – as with other such erstwhile adages, there cannot be a fire without the spark. There’s got to be a reason why humility was favored all along. To me, this is a non-negotiable aspect that I am not willing to change. For, in my view, humility is not black and white, as in you cannot practice it in certain areas like charity or social life and ignore it at work. Also, I believe it is ingrained in one’s upbringing and defines the level of self-confidence to a certain extent.

This is a controversial topic for sure, and I am sure there will be equal arguments to both sides of the story. Maybe I am prejudiced about pride after all!

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As the times become hard it is difficult to find solutions to all the complex issues surrounding our lives. We are so lost in our daily activities that we have lost focus on the purpose of our existence.

As we move on in life, our expectation from life increases, at times they may be quite irrational; this draws my attention to an incidence which finds credence in the epic.

This is when Arjun wins over Draupadi in a ‘Swayamvar’ and returns with his newly wedded wife and his other four siblings, where his mother, Kunti is waiting for them. As a daily activity the Pandavas used to go out in search of alms and donations to make both ends meet. On their way back home, Arjun was advised not to mention Draupadi as part of alms to their mother; however Arjun insisted that they could always play a prank with their mother and surprise her later.

They declare their arrival to their mother and inform about having returned with alms received during the day, not breaking the news about Draupadi at all, who was not part of the donations. There is a surprise in waiting when Kunti promptly directs them to divide ‘it’ equally amongst themselves, without being aware of the contents of the alms they bring.

Obeying one’s elders religiously was one’s duty in those days and there was no way they could disobey this and overturn the directive. Kunti is surprised and speechless on knowing this and is clueless about handling this. While they are trying to find a fitting solution to the grave mistake, Krishna arrives and finds a place in their discussion.

Apart from warning them of playing prank with their mother, he also draws their attention to one of Draupadi’s irrational blessings, where she had persuaded Lord Shiva for a husband with all the qualities that could not be found in one person, but in five separate individuals only. Hence to make good his promise, she is awarded with Pandavas as her husbands.

Drawing another leaf from the epic, which narrates the story of the birth of Shishupal, who is Krishna’s cousin. “Shishupal was not born normal and had scary features, (with 4 hands and legs). On the night he was born, the voice from the heaven predicted that his additional hands and legs would vanish as soon as he is cradled by an individual. It also went on to prophecies that Shishupal would be killed by the very same person. One of those days, Krishna happens to visit the house of this beleaguered mother, and as prophesied, the babies extra hands and legs vanished as soon as Krishna cradled him.

Emotions overpower Krishna’s aunt, who begs for his son’s life and to forgive him, if at all he deserves to be killed, any time in the future. Towards this, Krishna with his charming skills appeases his aunt by committing to forgive a hundred death penalties of his son, however not promising to spare him thereafter and kill him if need be.”

A few years later, Shishupal meets his end in the hands of Krishna, as soon as he has insulted and loathed Krishna for the hundredth time.

At times we do forget our sins & offences, worthy of dire consequences, as these may not have attracted the wrath of the heavens at that moment. And assume to have been spared and continue with it, and enacting a pigeon & a cat story.

It would be exuberance of verbosity to mention the need to ponder upon and set the house in order, before it’s too late.

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