In order to savour the taste of the outer world and prepare for the coveted institution called ‘school’, my little daughter was lately inducted into a ‘play school’, as they name it these days. Play schools were not heard of, a decade or two back and now they have mushroomed all over the place. You might find one in your friendly neighborhood. With dreamy eyes and expectations  no less than a Harvard student, you set out to get your child to embrace the new world.

Hallucination meets reality once the child frequents the ‘school’ for a couple of days, and makes you ponder if it was a desirable decision. The school, where majority of the times children are left alone to play with little or no attention. If at all you get to hear some music in the school, it’s the latest Bollywood number, and the teacher with their wannabe students dancing away to it’s tune. Talk about Nursery rhymes, any.

Fewer schools have play grounds and fewer still extra curricular activities and sports. You may squabble and contend, “Why not knock the door of the next big school, offering quality education and development of a child”. Differ, I claim, as my right, for the mass doesn’t have the might to chose the right, instead a change in these foothills of education is the need.

I introspect my days in school, where not analytical and reasoning but test of memory was the Caesar. Memory enrichment skills was the prime, be it the pristine Kindergarten or the High school. Pupil with higher memory staked claim to all the accolades and were the chart busters of sorts. Stronger does my belief gets when I recall my yesteryear classmates, now orthopaedic surgeon in Gangaram hospital and another a barrister in Delhi’s High Court, who never saw a mention in the toppers list through out.

Cut to recent and the trend is not worthy of a praise, if not lambaste. Ever growing need for specialized coaching to conquer the epitome of Indian education, vis-a-vis the IIMs, RECs & IITs, are adequate attestation of the education, the young students are being doled out. Ranking system and not the much needed grading system still in use. It’s disheartening to know India’s expenditure on education, is a meagre 4.1% of GDP, 82^nd of 132 nations. India produces 2.5 million graduates each year -of which 350,000 are engineers, twice the number produced by the US. Contrast this with the success rate of these graduates. Depressing are the number of these graduates who pursue higher education and PhDs, contributing to only 2% of the world’s research.

Our education system is dated, and need for an immediate overhaul would be to say the insignificant. The impending revolution in education can be brought about, when corporates and individuals join hands with the government and establish Universities which can rise to meet the talent, ambition and intelligence of Indians. Until then the brain drain may continue and the west will bear our fruits of labour.

With the progression of time,as my daughter inches closer to mainstream education, my soul prepares and warns me to the imminent risk of type casting her in the age old mould of our education system and produce, may be, just another housewife or money minting machine!

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Since childhood I never cherished any dreams of going abroad, instead always wanted to live in India. My search for a livelihood, like any other person, just out of the college, changed my perceptions on going abroad. It was in the year 2002 that the doors to a foreign nation had opened for me. My first pay made my eyes pop out (upon converting the currency, of course)

I also realized that with a white collar job in a foreign land one could earn quickly and pay off debts easily. My initial goal was just to stay for one year, amass some wealth and go back to India. As time passed, my ambitions started changing year after year and I started spreading my roots deeper into this foreign soil thus making my position much stronger.

Until you fly abroad you find life very nice and comfortable in the way you live, but once you get a taste of life abroad– you are out of that “frog in a well” situation and find it more interesting than ever.

As I introspect, I keep wondering if I will ever go back. One side pulls me towards my country of origin while the other side is so accustomed to western life style, it holds me back. A Catch-22 situation!

Returning to country indeed is a major decision, perhaps even tougher than to go abroad. There is no right or wrong here. After spending a few years abroad, we aim for “best of both worlds” which is difficult to find, in real life.

On one hand you have these factors compelling you to stay back abroad-

Value for money – Every penny earned is valuable abroad. In India a 100-rupee denomination is becoming almost worthless these days.

Free Life Style – You do not have any close relatives or neighbors pestering you with questions that are more personal in nature. Personal space is respected abroad more than in India.

Substantial Income - Similar effort put in a foreign country pays you 40x or 80x to what one gets in India. Once you get that taste of money, it’s hard to wean away from it.

Work culture – No slogging and no late hour work culture (to impress your bosses )

Value for Life – Life is valued far higher than anything else. The quality of life we lead is definitely better than that of India.

On the other hand there is a long list of good things back home in India that would tempt you to go home – people, relations, parents, food, cost of living, education, entertainment, advance medical treatments, growing economy, opportunities, weather, culture and of course, our roots.

I am convinced that all the Indians who are abroad are Non Returning Indians.

You may have a different opinion, but 8 out of 10 people who are abroad have firm plans to settle down there. They might not agree on the face of it, but their materialistic desires will force them to settle down. Will this ever change? May be….may be not.

Our growing economy could change this dimension and trigger a reverse brain drain. For now, we may have to just wait and watch.

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Pooja is a good friend of mine who lives in Mumbai. Having worked for me for over a year at an American Bank, she choose to be on her own and has been reasonably successful at that, with her fledgling entrepreneurial venture, her staffing consultancy.

Pooja was on chat with me the other day and said that her neighbor got married. I don’t know who her neighbor was, but wondered what was wrong with her! She went on and said, got married to a lady! I knew for a fact that Pooja had lost it! Wondering whether it was the effect of some weekend partying or the stress of being on her new venture that was getting to her, I kept getting on with work shaking my head in disbelief wondering if Pooja was mad before I hurriedly typed in a few notes to her before running off for a meeting.

I returned after a couple of hours and Pooja had left a series of messages for me. I read through and realized that her neighbor was actually a SHE and she had gotten married to another SHE! Her neighbor was also the HE in the marriage!

Being a very gracious person, she obviously went on to greet her neighbor and also had a chance to see pictures of the wedding. I don’t know if she got invited to the wedding or not, but what she had to say of the pictures she was very reminiscent of any other Indian women. Shaking her head in utter disbelief and wondering what the world was going to, she is a today a worried lady.

Chatting on, I asked her what was so “scary” about the whole thing. She said her little daughter; all of 3 odd years old was that neighbor’s favorite kid in the apartment complex. That put it in perspective for me. To make matters worse for her, her daughter happens to be in that stage of life where kids are all over us with questions! Questions that sometimes put us in a spot as we don’t know what to say when we get asked those questions! The little kid obviously heard that the aunty next door got married and was looking all over her house for the uncle!! No one told the poor kid that the aunty was actually the uncle in the wedding!

The news obviously spreads! In a society that is still waking up to the realities of homosexuality amid law makers around the world who are confused on whether to let this pass or otherwise, Pooja’s maid is one of those who is yet to recover from this shock. Coming from probably the lowest social strata of Mumbai, the maid apparently spent 3 hours in Pooja’s house holding her head in disbelief and wondering whether she needs to continue working for the neighbor, that she’s worked for nearly 3 years now. An educated Pooja and the worried mom that she is, is equally baffled and doesn’t know how to react.

I’m not out to pass a judgment on what is right or wrong! I just spare a thought for a good friend who’s been hit by a reality, a reality that you would typically hear / read of happening in California or somewhere else in Europe, but this time literally at her next door.

I once happened to stray off into the SOHO area of London on my last trip there, a short walk from the Oxford Street shopping area. It was one of those days when I just went wandering aimlessly, (certainly not looking for anything) when I quickly realized that I was on a street very popular for the gay men on London. Young boys were howling and screaming, expressing their love for each other on the streets. Waking alone, I felt my heart palpitating and the fear of being at risk, the risk of being physically assaulted maybe! Something that I’d never ever dreamt off ever. The ensuing 5 minutes were probably the scariest 5 minutes of my life.

More recently, we had an overseas visitor whom we were hosting. As a courtesy, my boss had to take him to dinner one of the days. My boss called me and asked me to join in. It was kind of last minute for me and I asked him why me? He explained that he was gay and my being along made him feel more comfortable! It was a hurried affair and both of us used the first available option to get back home early.

Being able to relate with what Pooja is going through as a result of my 5 minute trauma, I wonder how we are going to start accepting this new world reality. A recent Hindi movie, Dostana had my wife and me in splits. Being a very silent person, I’ve never ever seen my wife laugh so much ever! While the fun part of the movie has us in splits, we need to quickly understand that the changing preferences are probably a new world order. With laws likely to come in around this, we need to understand that people are people at the end of it and we need to respect individual choices. It’s probably a lot like someone smoking or drinking!

Incidentally, Pooja ensures that her doors are firmly bolted at all times and talks about this to all her friends. Amused at what we hear and enjoying a good laugh, we rag her saying “Pooja’s neighbor is gay!”. The trouble however is that the changing world can throw up one such neighbor for you anytime!

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Malappuram district is one of the wealthiest districts in the state of Kerala. Replete with natural resources – rubber plantations, coconut trees, herbs etc. and some breathtaking sceneries, Malappuram is one of the hidden treasures of Kerala. There is abundance of money – pouring in from the Gulf countries and the many Keralites who have settled abroad.

Despite all the money and infrastructure available, Malappuram is also one of the most backward in terms of education. There are plenty of schools around but children don’t find a reason to go to schools for a variety of reasons – poor management, bad teachers, poor infrastructure etc among the many.

Deepa Narayanan is an exception, though. Deepa Narayanan is a 13 year old girl studying in the 8^th standard in the Cheekode High School in Cheekode Panchayat near Kondotty in the Malappuram District. Deepa wants to study and become a doctor. Her father, Narayanan Nair, is a waiter at Kadavu resort, and doesn’t have the resources to purchase her regular syllabus books – leave alone additional reference materials. Deepa’s future looks uncertain and her dream of becoming a doctor will only remain a dream.

Who is to be blamed ?

The father who toils day and night to give a brighter future for his kids ? Or the government which lacks farsightedness – not to have created an efficient library system in Kerala or for that matter in India?

This is not a case in isolation. In fact, all over India across thousands of villages and cities, there are thousands and thousands who are in a similar situation not able to afford the bare minimum books required to study further and be one among the shining stars of India, for no fault of theirs. Even if there are any public libraries, the way they are maintained speaks volumes of the misuse of public money with absolutely poor infrastructure, unqualified librarians, lack of technology etc.

My vision 2020 for India is to set up unparalleled library system all across India where every citizen of India can freely access books and educational material free of cost. A public library should be made available every 5 square kilometer in populated areas.

The benefits of an advanced library system are invaluable – Employment opportunities, infrastructure development etc to name a few. This is besides a stream of talents that churn out from the remotest places in India, trying to compete and take India to the next level. The faster the concerned authorities realize the better for India.

I have seen it work in the United States. There is no reason to believe that it will not work in India. Yes, it calls for funding, infrastructure, manpower, technology, planned sourcing etc. So what ? What are the Tatas, Ambanis and the Mittals doing with their billions? Or when will the government account for proper utilization of resources. Isn’t it only appropriate that the money is better utilized for initiatives like this?

There is so much of wealth created in India that setting up a library system of this magnitude should not pinch the government or the private sector, to say the very least. I’d like to see someone take ownership of something like this and set a strong foundation for the India of tomorrow so that we could see thousands of Deepa Narayanans blossoming.

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If somebody were to ask me what is my vision for India:

The first thing I would like to see is all foreign nationals queuing up in Indian Embassies to obtain an entry into our country around the world.

Indian Rupee taking over as a standard measuring currency in the world. What a great feeling to think that rest of the world is measuring their economy against Rupee value. Lot of handwork for all our finance ministers on the measures they bring to make it happen.

Dignity of Labour

Our country still has some false notions where parents aspire their kids to be a doctor, engineer or a software expert by profession. Our society needs to recognize and respect all professions with dignity. You still see some of the eyebrows rising or people making faces if a girl is been married into a family other than known professions. A cosmopolitan thought process need to be induced. A wake up call for all those educated people in our country to give it a serious thought. The same parents would not mind if their son working as a petrol attendant on a foreign soil but has countless objections in our own country.

Change in Education System

A change I would like to see where parents do not thrust their choice upon kids, instead kids are left freely to choose whatever profession they would like. Our schooling system needs a bit of changing to encourage creative things taught to the kids compared to more of classroom instructions. We should start valuing kids not based on academic percentage but on creative thinking.

Fight Unemployment With Charity Work

You all would agree that unemployment is one of the big issues in India. So what is the change we are looking here? How about Government to undertake charity programs to help people in India and involve unemployed youth towards reforming the society. Their charity work should be accounted and recognised in every job that they are seeking or rather preference to be given to those youth who were involved in improving our society.

My India can be an aspiring place.

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Mumbai is a city of vibrant dimensions and people. It is a city where all the genders live together whether male or female, but then why does Mumbai forget some people who are also a very part of the society. They have the body of a man but the soul of a woman and their claps form the symbol of their community. They are those people who are fighting for their identity as the third gender. They are known by many names like “Hijras”, “Chakkas” or most commonly known as “Eunuchs” all over the world.

Eunuchs are not a sudden discovery in the world. They have been there in the pages of many historical events. They have been shunned and boycotted by the so called “Normal people”. They are forced to beg on signals, do menial jobs or work as sex workers. They do not get good jobs even if they are highly educated because they are considered as a taboo to the society. We talk about illiteracy, poverty and other problems faced by the society, so why aren’t these people taken into consideration.

Today these individuals do not get suppressed easily. This community is finally getting out of its shell. Many of the eunuchs are surprisingly graduates from esteemed universities. The best part about this community that the whole world should learn is the “UNITY AMONGST DIVERSITY” amongst these people. They do not divide themselves on the basis of religion and they accept everyone with open arms even if one works as a sex worker or has AIDS.

In our world, we fight in the name of religion and kill each other forgetting that we belong to the highest community that is humanity.

Eunuchs are also humans and not an abnormal being. In order to prove this to the society some eunuchs have formed an NGO called “Sakhi Char Chowghi Trust” to bring reforms in this community. It is really sad to know that this is the one and only trust working for this cause.

It is a completely different experience to speak to the organizers of this trust. The determination and enthusiasm of the eunuchs is highly motivating. They just behave like normal people working for a good cause. They believe that they all are woman, but are trapped in the body of men. They want to be free from this fake identity and be what they actually are. But then why is the society ignoring them or not accepting them.

They long to be a part of the society they long to be heard they have a voice, they have opinions and demands, then why during social, political, and economic discussion regarding the city they are forgotten. That is why these people are relying on them selves to make a difference and to break the barriers around them.

The society does not accept them but they have accepted the society with due respect. One of the organizers of the NGO quoted

Ae Zindagi Gale Lagale, Hamne Bhi Tere Har Ek Gam Ko Haske Gale Se Lagaya Hai

She also said,

We have no enmity against the society inspite of all the atrocities we have faced because of them. We are also human beings and a part of this god gifted world

It’s high time that we all leave are orthodox beliefs behind and open ourselves to a wider horizon in the world.

We cannot ignore a whole community of human. Instead we should “Ban Ignorance And Not Human Rights”.

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Popularity: 11%

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23rd November 05:

We friends set out from Hyderabad to Chennai. Where were we going? Microsoft TechEd event. Brand new technologies on display, platform convergence, hand held devices, touch sensitive screens and what not. It was a wonderful event and all we techies had great fun and good learning. After three eventful days we were on our train back to Hyderabad.

The train was passing through many villages on its way. We walked up to the train doors and were discussing high tech stuff, gadget etc. Suddenly we noticed a group of houses by the track at a distance, seemed like a small village. As the train was passing by the village children and adults alike ran towards the track and started looking at train in amazement. They waved to us, we waved back at them and suddenly silence fell on our group.

We were astounded to see those people look at a train in awe, which wouldn’t even enter our most low tech discussions. Our high tech discussions just stopped, full stop. We all went into a brooding mode, where we started thinking about how much difference existed between us and them. As the journey continued, we went past villages where women were carrying water from a distant pond, villages with no roads, villages with no electricity in the night.

We just wondered how accustomed are we all to these common amenities and people in the same country are deprived of them. Perhaps it was a first hand experience for most of us or may be we were too busy to pay attention to these earlier. Soon in few hours, our discussions started around what can be done for villages like this, how can youth bring about a change, what governments could do and are not doing ? We came up with many ideas and thoughts overnight.

7AM next day:

Train arrived in Hyderabad, we collected our luggage got off the train and perhaps left all thoughts behind to get busy with our lives. Today, most of us who were on that train are spread in different parts of world earning a living. And perhaps writing a blog post on our laptops.

This possibly is a case with many Indians abroad. All I wanted leave you with is a thought, that no matter when it is if we give back something for what we have got from this country, someday hopefully no one else would have to feel the way that we felt about those people.

Love India – Jai Hind

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