Living overseas! Something that a large percentage of Indians would love to sign up for any day – some for the lure of the money, some for the experience and some, for the quality of life that one can get living overseas. I am one of those that had this dream for a while. Having missed out on an opportunity to do my Masters degree in the States nearly 13 years ago for probably the most silliest reasons in hindsight, an opportunity to go and work overseas was something that I’d sign up to even in the deepest sleep.

My current employer presented me with an opportunity to move to London pretty recently. Having been there several times and spent a fair amount of time, this was something that I said yes to without a thought.

People who have been through the motions will tell you how the process is slow – the selection to the decision making and then the eternal wait for your paperwork. As frustrating it can get, I waited for what now seems like an eternity to get it all wrapped up. Jumping to catch the first available plane out, I showed up here with bag and baggage.

My first realization was the fact that I was on my own – a business trip where you can’t care less about anything material is very different to the fact that you need to fend for yourself for the word go when you are on your own.

Coming from home, we tend to take a lot of things for granted – A vehicle to commute on your own, often 4 wheels, large spacious houses, the value of which we hardly seem to realize back home, Family – how many times have we stopped to think about them when living with them?, last not least, the domestic help that we consider a given – from washing clothes to cleaning dishes, needless to mention, the houses too!

I started missing home in no time – I think it was less than 24 hours. Walking into work, you are in the midst of a place where you are met with “what are you doing here” kind of looks and conversations that go no longer than a “hello” however hard you try. If you have a new role to boot, welcome to the party!!

I can tell you that this concoction really hits you! I was hit and hit pretty hard too. There’s never been a time in my life when I’ve missed home ever so badly. Initial thoughts were pretty simple – which headhunter can I call to get back home now? Who are the old bosses that are hiring that I can reach out to? F@#$ this, I can get back home and find a job., 3 months – worse case, 6 months!

The search to find a place to live in is pretty interesting too! I’ve had pretty much every corner of London recommended as a place to live in and in literally 60 seconds being critiqued as a horrible place to live in too! Wow!! Is this a city that people live in?? With confusing views and conflicting opinions, you are left wondering why the hell did I move!!

Speaking to friends who have done this before, I realized that I was not alone in feeling this way. It’s that age old thing of grass being greener on the other side and being uprooted from your comfort zone that make you feel queasy. Every one that I have spoken to thinks this is just a phase, a phase where I draw a line on the sand to say here is what I felt only to change things around in 6 months time. Whilst time will tell if this in indeed true, here are my top 5 tips for those that plan to move overseas.

1. We never spend time preparing for a move overseas mentally – while the excitement gets the better of everything else, please spend time preparing mentally. Overseas moves are pretty stressful
2. Speak to friends about places to live in. Remember, every area is safe and equally unsafe. Doing some ground work ahead of time saves you a lot of stress
3. Overseas moves are not for the faint hearted and pampered ones – Washing clothes despite using a washing machine and pressing clothes are pains that a two rupee coin can ease back home.
4. I don’t know if feelings would have been different had I been single. If you are married, never ever move without your family. It’s cute to say I will move and my family will join me later, but on the ground, they can provide you tremendous support when you attempt to win small battles on your own and alone.
5. While we all know that “ change” is difficult and the only constant in life, going through that change is a lot more harder than what you think.

Cheers and happy moving! I’ll tell you if I feel any differently after 6 months!

Image Credit: wwarby

Popularity: 33%

The Oscar fever has caught on and for the first time, I am blogging live watching the Oscars, from the comforts of my home. Nothing can beat this experience. Seeing it live, munching my favourite triscuit, watching my two kids screaming louder than the Oscar host and blogging as Slumdog Millionaire is about to win Oscars – At this point, I don’t know how many, though!

The expectations are high among Indians that music maestro AR Rahman, who has bagged three nominations for “Slumdog Millionaire”, will bring home the coveted trophy. What a moment that will be!

Other two Indian films vying for the glory are “Smile Pinki” and “The Final Inch”.

The time is 8.30 PM EST.

Ok, the Oscar Awards has begun and so is this live blogging.

The time is 8:33 PM

Singer, Dancer, Actor Hugh Jackman enters the show with startling display of his talent. He starts of with the song on Slumdog Millionaire, moves onto Benjamin Button – what a startling display, picks up Anne Hathaway for an impromptu dance. Jackman performs about the other movies – The Reader, The Wrestler and Nixon. What a Live Performance that was!

The time is 8:40 PM

Hugh Jackman introduces all the nominees including Mickey Rourke, the couple – Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie, the guy who played Nixon, Demi Moore.

The time is 8:45 PM

5 yesteryear Oscar actress winners including Whoopi Goldberg introduces Penelope Cruz, Marisa Tomei, Demi Moore et al.

Penelope Cruz wins Oscar for the best actress. She goes to the stage and thinks she would faint…but doesn’t. She gave an emotional speech saying it is art which unites the universe. You are too good and beautiful. Penelope – Congratulations !

The time is 8:54 PM

Some type pad clicks. Few sentences and sounds of a typewriter. I don’t know what is happening.

Enter Steve Martin and Tina Fei. They starts joking around, as usual and soon picks up the mike for announcing the best screenplay. Now I understand why there were those type sounds.

The best screenplay award goes to Dustin Lance Black for Milk. Dustin, on the stage, emotionally talks of “Hope” for Gays and Lesbians across America.

Next comes the award for the best adopted screenplay…and the award goes to Simon Beaufoy, the writer for Slumdog Millionaire.

Oscar # 1 for Slumdog Millionaire. Wondering why Vikas Swarup for Original Screenplay. But yes, he thanked Vikas Swarup and the other two musketeers and his love for India.

I am so excited now. My friend, Madhavan, who wrote Will Slumdog Millionaire Win the Oscar Awards, pings me on Gmail. We exchange congratulations for the first in the kitty and many to go.

The time is 9:03.

Enters Kungfu Panda and his star friends…I am talking of Jack Black and Jennifer Aniston. He is hilarious.

The best animated feature film goes to Wall-E. Oscar is taken by Andrew Stanton. He thanks everyone..nothing extraordinary of a speech. The show goes on

The best animated short film goes to La Maison En Petites. Kunio Kato collects the award and “Sanks” everyone!…Sankooo..meaning Thank You.

Time for a break!

Popularity: 34%

Death is never good news… In the last 4 months, I was fortunate enough to help two good friends on two sad occasions. In both the cases there was stark similarity. Both were nuclear families and were primarily living in cities remote from their hometown.

Sad though, there were not too many in the family that could help, they were either too old or too young. And the others if any were too far to make it at short notice. Fortunate that they were, they had a bunch of good friends to help out in their hour of need.

It was not unusual for our previous generations to have half a dozen or more siblings on an average. Whatever be the need or occasion, there was no dearth of hands and heads. In these modern times, this gap is being made up by friends – with whom we have no bonding by birth, but meet and depart over time.

True friends are those who help in times of need – emotionally, financially, socially and more. Who is the first person whom you run to when you are in trouble? Who is he one who cares about you even if you don’t? Who is the one who will help you and look for nothing in return? These are the ones who have been slowly but surely replacing your missing families. These are the ones who in reality are your extended family.

Next time around, take a minute to thank them! You are lucky to have them around

Image Credit: Ashevillein

Popularity: 11%

Much has been written by my friends at Indiaspecial on the ongoing split and hate that today divides (or at least tries to) us in the name of politics, religion, region, caste, creed and so much more. It appears that we just about find a way to segregate everything into sets – I guess we owe part of that to our amazing mathematical and scientific abilities.

Of late, I had many an opportunity to observe a set of students (I presume) of African origin who have a small community a little away from my place. Most of them are about the same age as me and my friends.

I love to see them engage in a  game of football – rain, cold, sweltering heat – no matter what, they just love to play in that small ground with four stones marking the goal posts and vividly drawn boundaries – much as any of us did when we were at school. Half the team wear T-shirts and half dont, distinctly marking the two different teams. Expressions of excitement, fun, tension and victory evident in their faces, they were no different from any of us.

But there was a big difference!!!

There was not one Indian in that group. They just didn’t seem to have any Indian friends. None at all.

And I have seen these folks in the gym, at the bakery and in the shopping stores. Again – there is that element missing. It really does strike hard! Its not like they dont talk, maybe, its more like they make aquaintance, but thats when there is something that we have to do to accept them into our community too!

Coming to think of it, many of us have our own cultural bias… Dont trust a Madraasi, A Mallu is always business minded, Dilli walahs are all show, Punjabis eat a lot, Bengalis are shrewd … blah blah… No kidding! I have heard this from too many a place to say this is an individual opinion. If we can differentiate, classify and typecast our own countrymen, its not really a surprise that my African friends are farther than I ever thought!

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,

Who in this land is racist of all?

Popularity: 13%

I am a die hard fan of Salman Khan. I loved watching him in numerous movies, then what is making me think he is copying someone? Read on..

I watch the TV show Friends everyday. In last one year, I perhaps watched all the seasons twice. Of late I started realizing that Joey, a character in Friends played by Matt LeBlanc, is like someone I know. After a lot of thought, it struck me that it is Salman Khan.

Salman, perhaps was very original in earlier movies. Think of Maine Pyar Kiya, Andaz Apna Apna, Saajan, Hum Aapke Hain Kaun. But somewhere in late 90s his style changed, think Judwaa, Hello Brother or even the recent Partner and Yuvvraaj. Other than one or two exceptions like Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, every other film in which he is a brat makes me feel his acts are heavily “inspired” by antics of Matt LeBlanc. Interestingly if you see the timelines of change, they do coincide with the times when Friends became popular.

Couple of my friends shared the same thought when I discussed with them. There have been others who out-rightly rejected my claims. “Why do you always think our guys copy Hollywood, why don’t you think Matt LeBlanc may have been inspired by Salman?”, is what they have to say.

Do you share my views or think otherwise, do share your opinions. Frankly, I loved the old Salman than this new “inspired” version. Hope to see the old him back sometime.

Image Credit: Wikipedia

Popularity: 19%

We all have them. We cannot do without them.  Our guilty pleasures.  So why do we feel guilty about them? Over indulgence or indulgence itself?

Here are few of mine

Chocolate

There’s a lot to talk about people who love chocolate. They are the kinds who love attention. They need reassurances of love and security all the time. They cling on , they ensure they are heard. Some of them can also be irritating but aren’t these qualities found in all of us. If not all of them together some in fact. Maybe that’s why we have so many chocolate lovers. I sometimes indulge in chocolate so much that I can feel my tummy hurt. I don’t think it’s a sinful pleasure but yes the day I indulge in chocolate so much I do feel guilty.

Rumour sponge

I love listening to gossip. I never have problems saying I do. But I never use that to harm anyone. Neither do I judge anyone out of gossips and rumours. Let me also say I do not spread it too. But when someone comes to be with that I never turn them away. I’m curious to know what people have been up to. If it gets too personal I turn myself away from it. I can do that and I also know where to draw the line. I’m not being defensive about this pleasure. I’m just saying I know how much I can take and I don’t feel guilty about it.

Shopping

I shop extensively sometimes. There’s something about shoppers like chocolate lovers. They are insecure too. And sometimes lonely. They take it all out on shopping. They can have like a zillion people surrounded and yet feel lonely. Because they let themselves be. You can try hard to pull them out but you will never succeed. I have a passion for clothes. I can never have enough of them.  I can even get a little brand conscious and buy bags and shoes to go with them. Junk jewellery, I indulge in that too sometimes. I love the colour green. For my wardrobe I also pick a lot of black. The last few years has seen me become adventurous. I have all the colours now. There was a time when my wardrobe spoke of only green and black. Colours speak a lot about you too. Green says you are a simple yet intellectual person in love with the nature. If that’s true I’m not complaining about loving green.

Friends and phone

They go together now. There are times when I spend more hours than there are in a day speaking to them. How’s that possible. Well try being me for that one day and you will know. I have a very few friends. Really few. I made one really close friend at every phase of my life. That’s how I have these few friends I treasure. I love the indulgence of chatting up with them. It’s fun and so exhausting and yet to refreshing. I’m a whole new person after a long talk with one of them everytime. They all don’t live near to where I do so the phone plays a crucial role. Cannot do without them.

Writing

This is the first of my pleasures. Not the last. This has kept me company since I put my hand on a book first and the thought struck that I should also write so what if I write trash. Ever since I’ve written my umpteen pre teen, teen and post teen diaries. Now my diary is my laptop. Times changes so do means but the emotions and the passions never. I do all of the above daily, often and once in a while. My indulgence sometimes costs me a lot monetarily but the happiness it gives me is far beyond.

So they are my pleasures, guilty maybe!

Image Credit: Darwin Bell

Popularity: 16%