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Gays: Stereotypes, Prejudices and Discrimination

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The Nazis vilified and exterminated an entire race of people. Their anti-Semitic propaganda machine spewed venom against innocent men, women and children. Everything from their dress to their religion was attacked.

Gay We gays are going through such a phase, albeit in far subtler ways. Psychologists dealing with the dynamics of prejudices say that stereotypes, prejudices and discrimination go hand in hand. Homophobic people perform generalizations on the behaviors of gays.

Here is an example: “See that guy walking like a girl? He is GAY. Is Deep also gay? Hmmm, no wonder I saw him buy a tube of fairness cream at Shopper’s Stop last night”!

A miniscule number of these generalizations are positive: “Artistic = Gay”.

Some of these are pseudoscientific: “It’s a chemical imbalance”.

When stereotypes are widely quoted they assume the halo of “facts”. For example the 1999 edition of Merriam-Webster (the largest dictionary publisher in the United States) listed thesaurus terms for homosexual such as “fruit” and “pederast”. In India, doctors go through a five and a half year M.B.B.S. degree course with Psychiatry as one of the minor subjects. One of the prescribed textbooks being studied by our future pain alleviators is the 3rd edition of Mayer-Gross, Slater and Roth’s “Clinical Psychiatry”. It clearly lists “treatments” for gays. It quotes “recent” studies by scientists, “as late as 1957″ in support of “aversive deconditioning”!

Sadly no mention is made of DSM IV TR (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, textual revision) published by the American Psychiatric Association or the ICD-10 (International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems) published by the WHO. These works published after 2000 clearly do NOT list homosexuality as an illness needing a cure and are the “de-facto” modern benchmarks of Psychiatric care in the western world.

Rigid categorical thinking is central to prejudice. Let me quote from a famous book by Gordon Allport, “The Nature of Prejudice”:

The human mind must think with the aid of categories….Once formed, categories are the basis for normal prejudgment. We cannot possibly avoid this process. Orderly living depends upon it.

However, categorical thinking tends to distort perceptions by either minimizing or exaggerating the differences between categories. Here is an example:

“Snakes have fangs, poison and bite. That big, fat earthworm looks like a snake. It will bite!”. Or, “That serial killer used to have sex with his wife and men. I knew it! Gays are like this only”.

According to the “outgroup homogeneity effect” any numbers of people who do not belong to the majority “ingroup” are all lumped under one “outgroup” having the same characteristics.

Hence, in India, till not so long ago people thought of “lower casts” as dark skinned, low intelligence, violence prone, poverty stricken wretches. In other words, any one who does not “fit” is an outsider. And every outsider looks, thinks and acts alike. A member of the “ingroup” is less likely to come in contact with a member of the “outgroup” and hence remains unaware of the diversity of members of the “outgroup”.

Here is an example: “My wife and I have one homo friend, but we don’t let him come into our house and meet little Bunty. I have heard of a friend who had a homo neighbor who used to have sex with kids!”

In 2002 Brett Pelham and his colleagues carried out a study which indicated that in each one of us there exists an “implicit egotism” or an unconscious preference for things associated with the self. Thus, a straight teenager will more likely associate with other straight teens even though he does not have any overt animosity towards gays.

The straight teen maintains his self esteem by identifying with the “ingroup” of heterosexuals. It is when he detects a drop in self esteem that he is likely to become prejudiced. Hence, a weak, pimply faced teen whose “self esteem” has been challenged by a personal failure (maybe rejected by his macho group or girlfriends) will abuse gays loudly enough to bolster his “ego”. Hence prejudice represents a way to maintain self esteem. One of the ways to counter that is to ask the homophobic straight teen to write down ten things he values about himself.

When a child is growing up, society shapes his implicit attitudes and beliefs by a process known as “priming”. Thus, in the school books of thirty years ago (and, sadly, even now in some cases) the word “woman” is more likely to be read in the same location as “home”, “kitchen”, “cooking”, “housewife” and the word “man” with “doctor”,”pilot”, “army”, “brave”. Hence a child’s mind is “primed” by words or images that thematically relate ideas or associations. “Priming” continues in the adult modern world. Here is an example from a recent report in a leading Indian newspaper: “the beggar was a drug addict, a gay and a serial killer in Mumbai”. Has any news reporter used the phrase “the heterosexual serial killer of Noida”?!

All human beings observe the environment through a process known as “automatic filtering of salient stimuli”. Things which “stand out” seem more important to us than those which do not. Hence a doctor’s effeminate behavior and homosexuality is quickly commented upon, only as an afterthought is his profession mentioned.

Categorical thinking and focus on salient stimuli allows us to observe the environment efficiently. Yet both can lead to distortions in perception, and, at times, to prejudice and stereotyping.

Stereotypes can become self-perpetuating when stereotyped individuals are made to feel self-conscious or inadequate. Hence a man whose effeminacy and homosexual feelings is ridiculed by his peers and parents is more likely to perform badly in college and his career thus giving rise to the stereotype “gays are losers and queer”.

It is up to us gay men and women to counter homosexual prejudice at every level in society.

Image Credit: Did By Graham

Popularity: 52%

Live Blogging-Slumdog Millionaire Wins Its First Oscar Award

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The Oscar fever has caught on and for the first time, I am blogging live watching the Oscars, from the comforts of my home. Nothing can beat this experience. Seeing it live, munching my favourite triscuit, watching my two kids screaming louder than the Oscar host and blogging as Slumdog Millionaire is about to win Oscars – At this point, I don’t know how many, though!

Oscar AwardThe expectations are high among Indians that music maestro AR Rahman, who has bagged three nominations for “Slumdog Millionaire”, will bring home the coveted trophy. What a moment that will be!

Other two Indian films vying for the glory are “Smile Pinki” and “The Final Inch”.

The time is 8.30 PM EST.

Ok, the Oscar Awards has begun and so is this live blogging.

The time is 8:33 PM

Singer, Dancer, Actor Hugh Jackman enters the show with startling display of his talent. He starts of with the song on Slumdog Millionaire, moves onto Benjamin Button – what a startling display, picks up Anne Hathaway for an impromptu dance. Jackman performs about the other movies – The Reader, The Wrestler and Nixon. What a Live Performance that was!

The time is 8:40 PM

Hugh Jackman introduces all the nominees including Mickey Rourke, the couple – Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie, the guy who played Nixon, Demi Moore.

The time is 8:45 PM

5 yesteryear Oscar actress winners including Whoopi Goldberg introduces Penelope Cruz, Marisa Tomei, Demi Moore et al.

Penelope Cruz wins Oscar for the best actress. She goes to the stage and thinks she would faint…but doesn’t. She gave an emotional speech saying it is art which unites the universe. You are too good and beautiful. Penelope – Congratulations !

The time is 8:54 PM

Some type pad clicks. Few sentences and sounds of a typewriter. I don’t know what is happening.

Enter Steve Martin and Tina Fei. They starts joking around, as usual and soon picks up the mike for announcing the best screenplay. Now I understand why there were those type sounds.

The best screenplay award goes to Dustin Lance Black for Milk. Dustin, on the stage, emotionally talks of “Hope” for Gays and Lesbians across America.

Next comes the award for the best adopted screenplay…and the award goes to Simon Beaufoy, the writer for Slumdog Millionaire.

Oscar # 1 for Slumdog Millionaire. Wondering why Vikas Swarup for Original Screenplay. But yes, he thanked Vikas Swarup and the other two musketeers and his love for India.

I am so excited now. My friend, Madhavan, who wrote Will Slumdog Millionaire Win the Oscar Awards, pings me on Gmail. We exchange congratulations for the first in the kitty and many to go.

The time is 9:03.

Enters Kungfu Panda and his star friends…I am talking of Jack Black and Jennifer Aniston. He is hilarious.

The best animated feature film goes to Wall-E. Oscar is taken by Andrew Stanton. He thanks everyone..nothing extraordinary of a speech. The show goes on

The best animated short film goes to La Maison En Petites. Kunio Kato collects the award and “Sanks” everyone!…Sankooo..meaning Thank You.

Time for a break!

Popularity: 27%

Pooja’s Neighbor Is Gay!

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Pooja is a good friend of mine who lives in Mumbai. Having worked for me for over a year at an American Bank, she choose to be on her own and has been reasonably successful at that, with her fledgling entrepreneurial venture, her staffing consultancy.

Image Credit:TNT Blonde

Pooja was on chat with me the other day and said that her neighbor got married. I don’t know who her neighbor was, but wondered what was wrong with her! She went on and said, got married to a lady! I knew for a fact that Pooja had lost it! Wondering whether it was the effect of some weekend partying or the stress of being on her new venture that was getting to her, I kept getting on with work shaking my head in disbelief wondering if Pooja was mad before I hurriedly typed in a few notes to her before running off for a meeting.

I returned after a couple of hours and Pooja had left a series of messages for me. I read through and realized that her neighbor was actually a SHE and she had gotten married to another SHE! Her neighbor was also the HE in the marriage!

Being a very gracious person, she obviously went on to greet her neighbor and also had a chance to see pictures of the wedding. I don’t know if she got invited to the wedding or not, but what she had to say of the pictures she was very reminiscent of any other Indian women. Shaking her head in utter disbelief and wondering what the world was going to, she is a today a worried lady.

Chatting on, I asked her what was so “scary” about the whole thing. She said her little daughter; all of 3 odd years old was that neighbor’s favorite kid in the apartment complex. That put it in perspective for me. To make matters worse for her, her daughter happens to be in that stage of life where kids are all over us with questions! Questions that sometimes put us in a spot as we don’t know what to say when we get asked those questions! The little kid obviously heard that the aunty next door got married and was looking all over her house for the uncle!! No one told the poor kid that the aunty was actually the uncle in the wedding!

The news obviously spreads! In a society that is still waking up to the realities of homosexuality amid law makers around the world who are confused on whether to let this pass or otherwise, Pooja’s maid is one of those who is yet to recover from this shock. Coming from probably the lowest social strata of Mumbai, the maid apparently spent 3 hours in Pooja’s house holding her head in disbelief and wondering whether she needs to continue working for the neighbor, that she’s worked for nearly 3 years now. An educated Pooja and the worried mom that she is, is equally baffled and doesn’t know how to react.

I’m not out to pass a judgment on what is right or wrong! I just spare a thought for a good friend who’s been hit by a reality, a reality that you would typically hear / read of happening in California or somewhere else in Europe, but this time literally at her next door.

I once happened to stray off into the SOHO area of London on my last trip there, a short walk from the Oxford Street shopping area. It was one of those days when I just went wandering aimlessly, (certainly not looking for anything) when I quickly realized that I was on a street very popular for the gay men on London. Young boys were howling and screaming, expressing their love for each other on the streets. Waking alone, I felt my heart palpitating and the fear of being at risk, the risk of being physically assaulted maybe! Something that I’d never ever dreamt off ever. The ensuing 5 minutes were probably the scariest 5 minutes of my life.

More recently, we had an overseas visitor whom we were hosting. As a courtesy, my boss had to take him to dinner one of the days. My boss called me and asked me to join in. It was kind of last minute for me and I asked him why me? He explained that he was gay and my being along made him feel more comfortable! It was a hurried affair and both of us used the first available option to get back home early.

Being able to relate with what Pooja is going through as a result of my 5 minute trauma, I wonder how we are going to start accepting this new world reality. A recent Hindi movie, Dostana had my wife and me in splits. Being a very silent person, I’ve never ever seen my wife laugh so much ever! While the fun part of the movie has us in splits, we need to quickly understand that the changing preferences are probably a new world order. With laws likely to come in around this, we need to understand that people are people at the end of it and we need to respect individual choices. It’s probably a lot like someone smoking or drinking!

Incidentally, Pooja ensures that her doors are firmly bolted at all times and talks about this to all her friends. Amused at what we hear and enjoying a good laugh, we rag her saying “Pooja’s neighbor is gay!”. The trouble however is that the changing world can throw up one such neighbor for you anytime!

Image Credit: TNT Blonde

Popularity: 42%

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