Since childhood I never cherished any dreams of going abroad, instead always wanted to live in India. My search for a livelihood, like any other person, just out of the college, changed my perceptions on going abroad. It was in the year 2002 that the doors to a foreign nation had opened for me. My first pay made my eyes pop out (upon converting the currency, of course)

I also realized that with a white collar job in a foreign land one could earn quickly and pay off debts easily. My initial goal was just to stay for one year, amass some wealth and go back to India. As time passed, my ambitions started changing year after year and I started spreading my roots deeper into this foreign soil thus making my position much stronger.

Until you fly abroad you find life very nice and comfortable in the way you live, but once you get a taste of life abroad– you are out of that “frog in a well” situation and find it more interesting than ever.

As I introspect, I keep wondering if I will ever go back. One side pulls me towards my country of origin while the other side is so accustomed to western life style, it holds me back. A Catch-22 situation!

Returning to country indeed is a major decision, perhaps even tougher than to go abroad. There is no right or wrong here. After spending a few years abroad, we aim for “best of both worlds” which is difficult to find, in real life.

On one hand you have these factors compelling you to stay back abroad-

Value for money – Every penny earned is valuable abroad. In India a 100-rupee denomination is becoming almost worthless these days.

Free Life Style – You do not have any close relatives or neighbors pestering you with questions that are more personal in nature. Personal space is respected abroad more than in India.

Substantial Income - Similar effort put in a foreign country pays you 40x or 80x to what one gets in India. Once you get that taste of money, it’s hard to wean away from it.

Work culture – No slogging and no late hour work culture (to impress your bosses )

Value for Life – Life is valued far higher than anything else. The quality of life we lead is definitely better than that of India.

On the other hand there is a long list of good things back home in India that would tempt you to go home – people, relations, parents, food, cost of living, education, entertainment, advance medical treatments, growing economy, opportunities, weather, culture and of course, our roots.

I am convinced that all the Indians who are abroad are Non Returning Indians.

You may have a different opinion, but 8 out of 10 people who are abroad have firm plans to settle down there. They might not agree on the face of it, but their materialistic desires will force them to settle down. Will this ever change? May be….may be not.

Our growing economy could change this dimension and trigger a reverse brain drain. For now, we may have to just wait and watch.

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Popularity: 25%

Amidst the sand I stand, accepting mirage in the nearby land,
Less I knew the truth behind, it was the thirst that made me blind.

Along with the world I moved, thinking there’s life and I grooved,
Less I knew what meant life, is that the happiness or my loneliness in disguise?

I gave my best to save a relation, dreaming that life would mean a new creation,
Less I knew the plan behind; it was only me who was inclined.

Love and respect were the attributes; I honored and gave value to,
Never did I feel there’s something else, that casts a spell, it was ‘money’ that sells.

All the time I considered my heart, felt it is stronger than my head,
But how did I know it wasn’t heart, but you chose your brilliant head instead.

Uncountable efforts that I have put, analyzing life as I thought it should,
Whenever I thought I gave my best, there comes a challenge and put me to test.

Not so long ago I found, between you and me the absent link,
And when I thought I knew it all, you gave me a reason to rethink

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Popularity: 11%

Nature gives us everything. But necessarily where we need it and when we need it. Maybe it was originally meant the other way round… we are supposed to be at the right place and the right time. Nothing complex to think – just look at water around you!

On one side there is water in plenty and the other there are people who have to walk miles for a potful. And we have leaders who dream of joining the mighty rivers and building dams to store more water. Perhaps what is really needed is to build a sense of responsibility in addition to all of these grand plans.

India receives fairly good rainfall in many places – but with a catch – It is usually unpredictable and the duration of the rain is short (and of course we have many extremes too). Most of this water runs into nullas and streams and ends up in the sea or in places where it is usually not required. If this water was to be harvested appropriately and used to recharge the ground water, it will severely reduce the stress on our resources.

The smallest good deed is greater than the grandest good intention.

While rules and ideas on water harvesting have been in existence, it would really make a difference if half of us practiced this in earnest. The cost is not really huge and the beneficiaries are locals. Some local government divisions and NGOs have created good awareness and have implemented this – but as a whole there is a lot that needs to be done.

You too can contribute in your own simple way. Turn down that tap in the wash basin the next time around. Don’t have leaky taps around. Educate folks around and spread the word. The time is now – And don’t worry if the saving is minimal – After all, every drop counts!

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In today’s world, we have umpteen issues to be worried about. It varies from individual to individual. It could be the worry for the next meal or the worry to succeed in the next daunting task in our career. Then, there are always times in our lives, that we go into a state of despair. When nothing seems to go right and there appears no end to our problems. And the path is not easy. We are governed by the laws of society and our egos in this seemingly journey of endless difficulties and sorrow.

Yet one can’t miss finding an odd individual who can laugh off everything, even in the most difficult of situations. These are but a few, who may understand the meaning of life much beyond the daily grind. These are people who realize something more important than all of their problems – perhaps these are the people who live every moment of their life in full. Those who do not blame situations and people when something goes wrong.

Yes, that is right!  These are people who CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY. You can call them maniacs or die hard optimists. Nothing really matters to them. What does matter is to make the most of the situation. Envy them as much as you may, there is always potential to learn something from them.

Fact is that it’s not difficult to cultivate this habit. The world is far too big and beautiful to be worried about things that can be left behind. In every situation beyond despair, we have the choice to be a part of it or walk away to something we believe could be a better option. Everyone knows how futile it is to enter into a heated argument and expect that it will do a lot of good to everyone. At best it may work out to be an ego massage. The choice to walk out of such a situation and return with a calm head can really do wonders.

There is no point trying to push a wall because you don’t see the point of view. It’s so much easier to smile on yourself and make the choice to walk to the nearest window.

Remember – There is a choice called Happiness!

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Oh, I tell you. It’s all down to the bloody politicians.

What is the Government doing for us? Where are they? Look at our corrupt public officials. The system is so dirty. Yuck! Politics is single-handedly responsible for the decline of the concept of India as a nation.

While we should rightfully hold no inborn sympathy for the lack of leaders in the country today, it is high time we look at ourselves in the mirror before engaging in cliched rhetoric again and again. The above mentioned statements are one-liners you can pick up from many ongoing conversations across India, from ignorant youth to lecturing elders, from uninformed commoners to high society elites. Anyone and everyone talks, talks and talks.

The amount of complaints, regarding the system, that we dish out everyday is becoming like a hoard of filthy, piled up vomit that nobody wants to assess and clean but everybody wants to squabble about and engage in unending chit-chats. People are forgetting the essence of democracy and are engaging in blatant generalization of the system of governance. It’s high time we re-assess ourselves.

It is very convenient for people in this country to sit in their comfortable sofas, dine in multi-cuisine restaurants, engage in social gatherings, watch the latest Bollywood potboilers, go to sleep in cozy beds and then wake up the next morning to throw the “Ohs” and “Aahs” at reports of political delinquencies and national inadequacies in newspapers, while sipping a cup of tea.

It is very convenient for people in this country to rally behind a very opportunistic mass media(that shamed us with their woeful conduct during the horror days of Mumbai) and claim that everything in our system is rotten and it’s best to stay out of the mess. In the process, the majority of us do not see active involvement in society and the nation as our job or cleaning up the system as our duty. If high-end ignorance is all we can offer to the country from a position of no self-sacrifice, then expect a return punch of the kind that the politicians throw at us today.

People do not bother with results of state assembly polls, but are gaping earnestly at the previews of MTV Roadies’ new season. Discussions and debates are held across the country about deserving winners of TV reality shows, but no cause is taken up about what ails the system. People, who ordinarily do not give a fig to the state of affairs in the country, will egotistically jump at a chance to malign the men holding crucial posts of governance simply because it is way too convenient.

We squeal and screech at figures of India’s abysmal position in the Corruption Index, but willfully offer bribes at public offices to get our work done. Bureaucracy is a pain, but WE are a part of the inherent cause of that pain. We forward nationalistic mails during days of tragedy and gloat “India should do something” and “Jai Hind” because that is ALL WE CAN DO. That is all that comes in our frequency of convenience.

At the end of the day, WE are the problem. We are the inconvenience in the system. It is very true that today’s politicians are irresponsible leaders and are very responsible for the mess we are in today, but they are a part of us. They are there because we allowed them to reach there. And from a position of power, abuse is but the next thing on the list of a vehement pursuit for selfish and partisan interests.

If blame-game rhetoric is all we can engage in and personal convenience is all we can offer to the so-called “dirty system”, then stop disparaging at the state of Indian politics and engage actively in our democracy to make it more accountable and rewarding. For a start, VOTE.

People ask me what ails this democracy. I wish I could hit back with a “It’s me and you, my friend”. I wish I could tell everyone that only WE can make this work. I wish I could create a sympathy for the broken system that is crying for our help. It’s a matter of choice. It’s a matter of causing that little inconvenience to ourselves to make the system work. We can revolutionize the system. Because the system is only a by-product of how actively involved we are today.

Because what actually ails this system, and this country, is ourselves. If we won’t, who will?

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Article Credit: Jay Maniyar

Popularity: 8%

I want my child to be a politician or get real. Why? Because I want my child to tell an audience how to do something right or remain doing it right all through her life. Why? Because I have been a little gutless doing it myself. Do what right ? Live life right. What does that mean? I don’t mean to preach, tell someone to follow a religion, or to spread peace, or to love everybody, or to never lie. None of this.

I want my child to help build roads, facilitate dialogues for conclusive resolutions. I want my child to plant trees as many as she can. Not care if it’s in the middle of a busy market. Tell people that getting real is not all that difficult.

My child should be able to look terror in its eye and say I will vanquish you. I don’t mean dramatically but yes I mean remove it from the root. Keep the politics aside for 5-6 years and clear all matters. Remove borders for talks.

My child should not call a river its’ own or say a mountain belongs to it. Or say linguistically speaking a guest is not welcome somewhere.

I’m not speaking about birds chirping, vegetation flourishing and planet being alive for eternity. I do not even know if that’s possible. But I know it’s possible for my child to take these measures to ensure she lives. She will not do this for her next generation but for herself.

I will call my child India. Why shouldn’t I? I will never know what to say when India will quiz me about why I sat back and gazed while pieces shattered. India will run and play without a fear. India will scream happiness. India will never lose hope on her siblings and fellow mates.

India will make friends who will all grow up in harmony. India will never plot a terror plan, I will not let India kill someone and take pride in it. My India will not slay for gases and natural resources. No carnages to prove a point, meaningless one at that.

India shall be simple yet luxurious and generous in spreading a smile. India will crack jokes and tickle brains. She will learn to dance and sing, she may not be the best at it but she will do it regardless. She will pick her ball up from the garbage when it rolls there not fearing that she may touch a bomb.

India is my child and she is born. She is alive and breathes with me. She walked this land with me for all these years. She is that little voice in me I have killed so many times. I will let her grow, will let her grow and blossom into the India I have always dreamt about.

My India will not be torn apart and bathed with blood. She will sing a different song that will sound just like me and everything that is seen and heard.

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Popularity: 13%

There was a time when “NRI” bridegrooms were most sought after. Call it the lucrative money sometimes or the status symbol it turned into. But if the recent stats from a popular Matrimony sites and agencies are to be believed it does seems like this fad is now fading.

From the beginning of this year Matrimony agencies and sites have reported a fall of about 40% in requests for Non-Resident brides and bridegrooms. In the last   three month these have dropped by over 60%. Does this mean the credit crunch in “Lands of opportunity” creating an impact? If the timelines were to be analyzed it does seem like.

However the change seems to be influenced from different corners. Many families (in urban and parts of rural middleclass) now have either their acquaintances of family members living abroad. They are gaining more understanding of life abroad and more in specific about how most of Indian are employed abroad. While many have been shocked by learning about the employment of the guys abroad, while rest have learned more about specifics like contract jobs that people take up and the “nomad” lifestyle that comes packaged with it.

With families paying visits abroad and getting to know a first hand experience of life abroad, somewhere a seed of reluctance seems to have been planted in many peoples minds about getting their daughters married to a NRI bridegroom.

While the most important reason for people to seek career outside India seems to be monetary, families now seem to be settling with less in view or security of life and convenience for their daughters. If this trend continues, it might get many aspiring guys to start thinking . At the very least it might increase the in flow of migrant Indians back into the country.

Only time can tell whether this NRI Fad will fade away? For now at least it seems to be…

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Popularity: 16%

Kite Runner, is a novel released in 2003, topped the best seller’s list in the year 2005 in USA. Khaled Hosseini, author of the book is an Afghan by birth. He is now settled in America and is a citizen there. He has authored one more book to his credit.

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The prose is done in an astounding way and the emotions of each character, drawn perfectly.

The book starts with an older Amir going back to his memories in Kabul where he had grown up till the age of 12. Amir, a Pashtun, considered being an upper class, lives in a society who got a privileged life under the shadows of his iconic father and a plush livelihood. His only companion is Hassan, a Hazara servant, an outcast during those days. The relationship between the two kids is portrayed best in the first half. Amir was never ready to accept Hassan as his best friend, but they were always together in whatever they did.

Innocence of children and their thoughts are streamlined amazingly in the pomegranate tree expeditions to Amir’s read-out sessions of classic books for Hassan, to the kite running competition. But jealousy in Amir results in some sour incidents which leads Hassan and his father to leave the house. This is before Amir along with his father become a part of the exodus of natives to America escaping the Soviet attack on Afghanistan.

Second half deals with Amir’s life in America depicting the immigrant’s hardships and emotions, his blooming romance, his father’s surrender to a tumor, his guilt ruling him of betraying his friend Hassan and the search for Hassan’s son back in Kabul.

In short the book is weaved on the relationships of a father and his son – Amir and his father, a master and his servant – Amir and Hassan, two good friends – Amir’s father and Rahim Khan, a silent romantic relationship between Amir and Soraya. There are some surprises too in store.

The book definitely highlights the sufferings and tragedies of a nation after a war and internal conflicts in a heart wrenching manner. The plight of orphaned children and woman are portrayed well in this write up. Well, towards the end at one point when we feel that things are getting settled with Amir, immigration problems comes as a monster which make the reader feel uneasy as it did with Amir. Thoughts go wild with the reader as it did with Amir. This is where the author succeeded. He could very well relate his protagonist with the reader; same with other characters like Ali, Rahim Khan and Soraya – Amir’s wife.

A definite read, the book is brought by Riverhead Trade in a paper back mode with 384 pages to gorge on. Kite Runner, definitely deserves a 8 rating. Go, Get it.

Popularity: 14%

The SHOW DADDY series is back …and this time I intend to finish off and show you what SHOW DADDY is all about.  We talked about the various steps that help you take the right path…Below are the last 2 in the series..

9. Yearn for excellence

Excellence is a habit. Excellence is an addiction. Excellence is what all of us crave for, irrespective of what our individual fields are, what our background is and what yearn to become one day. The urge to perform under pressure, to deliver beyond expectations and to think beyond the obvious itself helps you in putting yourself much ahead of others. This not only helps you in your career as an employee, but also in your family life as a supportive husband, father, son etc.

If you have the eagerness, the right skillsets and the urge to excel, there is nothing that can stop you. Having said that it is important to note how you can use this skillsets to manage your time. Here’s how. If you have the urge to succeed, you will find yourself time invariably to do what you always loved. This will put yourself ahead of others and it is this advantage that will carry you through.  

Yearn for excellence instills in you a habit of perpetual optimism resulting in quick and quality turnaround time which eventually save you time.

10. Get organized

Rahul has been told that he works too hard. He has been told that he doesn’t take care of his family. He has been told that he is too fat for his age, too fat for his height and more than anything else, too fat for his job. He was told that he was too much of a bore when it comes to walking and talking. That he was a failure written all over.

Well, ask Rahul and he wouldn’t deny any of these. But he never gave up. He is somewhere in between trying to balance the dreams and the unwanteds of his life

That was the story of Rahul a couple of years back before he put his career back on track. And today there is no looking back. If he has had such an experience, I am sure there are many who would too. Most of us go through similar situations and do not know what to do in such circumstances.

Here are a few tips that changed Rahul’s life, for the better in many ways than one.

• Rahul understood that his 5 senses needed more sensibility. So he listened to their needs – His music, his child, his family, his food and of course, the scent of a woman (read the wife) helped him bring back his senses
• He answered to his physical and emotional needs.
• Rahul harnessed his intellectual needs
• Rahul cared for the needy and respected the elders

In short, Rahul gave to himself what he needed most – the power to organize himself so that every need of his is met without him losing the focus. Rahul was reborn !

If you didnt get it still, here is a gist – Get organised. Get what you want !!!

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