Very often, when we meet and interact with people, somewhere in our minds we rate them on a maturity level scale. This scale is of course relative, based on where we ourselves lie on that scale. But take a minute and try to define what is maturity and you may find it difficult to describe what maturity is. When I picked up this book at Goa airport some days back, I was probably trying to find an answer to the same question, ‘What is maturity?’ , can you really measure it on a scale and say one person is more mature than the other.

I have always found Osho’s explanations very intriguing. And like his view on every topic, he describes maturity also from an eastern vs western point of view, and finally comes to Budhha and how he was the most mature person to have graced this planet.

The book starts by explaining the difference between growing old and growing, and then moves on to how a mature person accepts everything that happens to him with equanimity. The things happening in this world do not impact a mature person at the core as he realizes that these things are happening only at the surface and the core is incorruptible.

Book explains the ‘Seven year cycle’ that we all go through and I think this was my biggest take away from this book, something that I had never heard / read earlier. It says every 7 years our psychology changes and so do our psychological needs. Further the book talks about mature relationships.

It says most relationships fail either because people become too dependent on each other or they remain totally independent of each other. Both these situations are not conducive for nurturing a relationship. In first case you suffocate each other and in the second one there is no need for the other person. A mature relationship is balanced my right quantity of interdependence.

A quote that I completely endorse

‘Whenever you enjoy something, you are in tune with yourself and you are in tune with the Universe, because your center is the center of all…so do only that you enjoy, otherwise stop’.

Probably its time for me to follow this too…

Popularity: 26%

This is the coach era, period! It all started gaining prominence with sport. Be it soccer, basketball, baseball, cricket – name the sport – the “coach” today has a very high profile and visible role; even seen as the public face of the team or franchise.

John Buchanan, the erstwhile coach of the Australian national cricket team, was a big hit amongst the newer generations for his introduction of technology and out of the box thinking. He brought in practices from rugby to fielding sessions in cricket, he considered getting hitting coaches from baseball to train cricket batsmen in hitting over the top, etc. One of the old school blokes who played in John’s era, Shane Warne, once famously said “Coach is something that gets you from the hotel to the match venue”. He could not have better articulated his disregard for the coach’s influence in the scheme of things.

This week, while covering the English national team’s ongoing visit to the West Indian islands, an outspoken commentator by the name of Geoff Boycott got into the news with his observation that there were more support staff seen out on the field, than players. Unlike a few sports like soccer or the American football where there’s a lot of strategy formulations and alternations in game situations, sports like cricket provide very little powers to the coaches in the midst of a game (if you will, for a moment, forget the Cronje-Woolmer mic experiment episodes!).

It is very common to find analogies between sports and businesses. I, for one, am a big fan of using buzz words from sporting worlds in the corporate life. For, after all, where else could you look for better equivalents to team work, leadership, commitment, bonding, etc than look at sports teams. More importantly, it helps a lot of us sports fanatics connect to some of these situations better. No wonder then, to see management coaches and consultants being the order of the day – be it helping in new strategy formulations, bringing in radical transformation to business strategies, or determining newer synergies for organizations. The list goes on and the clan’s purview seems expanding by the day…

Where I find the freshly “coached” organizations struggling is in the aftermath of the consultants’ or coaches’ study of the organization: i.e. implementing the report’s suggestions (forget the pressure of trying to do some meaningful changes to justify the cost of the fancy report!). The engagement with consulting firms has become a fancy term to the point where the grass roots within the organizations look at these external coaches and consultants cynically. I’ve had strong opinions in the past, on these very lines, until having had a chance personally to work hand-in-glove with some management consultants and coming away with valuable insights.

I think the essence to a successful coach-team or consultant-client relationship is in managing expectations upfront. The likes of Bain & Co., which have made huge reputations in being positive and successful change agents, have succeeded purely because they came in clearly setting expectations and roles on both sides. Coaches or Consultants do not provide magic answers; they don’t wave magic wands! Rather, because they do not the have the vested interests and the associated baggage, they are able to bring in a balanced and objective view to the problem on hand. This is putting it bluntly, but in reality their suggestions (again, not answers) are most likely to be painful transformations to undergo; hence they aren’t thought of beforehand, or kept as the last resort, by organizations themselves.

I am, not for a moment, trying to belittle the role of external consultants or management coaches. I am merely trying to state my positive experiences, and stressing on the mindset one needs to go in, before dialing “C” for a coach!

Image Credit: DB King

Popularity: 10%

It wasn’t long before we sat in front of our computers and chatted with global netizens, and wondered what a fabulous gift technology is. I still remember how thrilled I was when I got a reply for my first email. It was a different kind of experience realizing the fact that someone sitting somewhere in the world sends a letter to me in just a matter of seconds!  The little chat window which we loved most onetime, evolved through a revolutionary phase, from simple plain text chat programs to a range of voice/video enabled kinds  we now have at our disposal.

Then we saw a myriad of social networking sites which took the youth by storm..Facebook,Orkut,Beebo to name just a few. What is amazing is that these social interaction platforms have become popular without many advertisements, but through simple word- of- mouth.

The potential of these tools are tremendous – it provides enormous advertising capabilities which they are set to leverage to a large extent. We should consider the personal advertisement capabilities too when talking about such tools. Suddenly they have become a media to shout to the world what you are doing!

While we continue to interact with our fellow netizens using these latest technologies, a new breed of net dwellers is catching on like wild fire! They are the Virtual World residents. The term ‘Global Citizen’ is literally turning to reality in these Virtual Worlds.

The one caught my attention is Second Life from Linden Labs, which takes online social interaction to new dimensions. Second Life was launched in 2003 and then on its growth has been phenomenal. The underlying idea is the same – interact with people- but how they have transformed such a simple idea to a big business opportunity is something interesting to look at.

It provides a ‘Virtual World’ where we can reside, meet people, go shopping, go clubbing and so many other things you do in real life. Out of curiosity, I created an account to see what it offers, and found the design / technology similar to some of the role play/mission accomplishment games. What makes it different from these ordinary 3D games is that there is no mission-no killings and no shootings- it’s just a place to live in!

You can do as you please, of course without offending the fellow residents. To sweeten the pot, one can even generate a stable income from the Second Life with a bit of creativity and a little money.  It offers Land, which we need to buy/rent to start our business establishments and once we are familiar with the technology we can create and offer our unique services/products to people who are interested.

For example, a fashion designer can design and create clothes for the avatars (the online version of yourself), and price them. If someone is interested in your creation, they can buy it from you, just like in real world. All transactions are carried out in their internal currency, Linden $, which maintains an exchange rate with real world dollar currency. Oops! It’s not a game anymore.

Though such technologies are intended to make our lives easier and better, it remains to be seen how it affects human relationships. Second Life also has a human relationship aspect, as it allows one avatar to have a relationship with another avatar, if he/she is ‘well equipped’. Yes – you can have sex too, what is known in the virtual world as ‘Ageplay’! This is possible by buying one of those countless animations/other tools up for sale in the virtual world, making the creators of these products wealthier.

Though we like to embrace everything new and revolutionary, aren’t we missing something? Aren’t we undergoing a transformation in our social behavior?  We will be shocked to see how these latest online social trends meant for mere fun have crept into our real lives, a perfect example being the divorce case recently filed in Britain after the online avatar of wife found her husband’s avatar with another Second Life resident in a compromising position  - of course virtually.  ‘Should we really encourage such simulation worlds if we are a bit serious about them’ is one question that needs our immediate attention.

When asked one of my acquaintances, who is in his fifties, about his views on the success of face book and other social interacting sites, he reacted saying

Computers are shallow equipments destined or designed only to help humans in a mechanical way, it seldom takes you into the inner realms of human mind. However, every human being is destined to learn the truth in the hard way. And one day wisdom will dawn upon us; by that time we will discover that we have become old!

But I have to admit that I haven’t become that old yet though!’

Popularity: 73%

Kite Runner, is a novel released in 2003, topped the best seller’s list in the year 2005 in USA. Khaled Hosseini, author of the book is an Afghan by birth. He is now settled in America and is a citizen there. He has authored one more book to his credit.

Image Credit: Khaledhusseini.com

The prose is done in an astounding way and the emotions of each character, drawn perfectly.

The book starts with an older Amir going back to his memories in Kabul where he had grown up till the age of 12. Amir, a Pashtun, considered being an upper class, lives in a society who got a privileged life under the shadows of his iconic father and a plush livelihood. His only companion is Hassan, a Hazara servant, an outcast during those days. The relationship between the two kids is portrayed best in the first half. Amir was never ready to accept Hassan as his best friend, but they were always together in whatever they did.

Innocence of children and their thoughts are streamlined amazingly in the pomegranate tree expeditions to Amir’s read-out sessions of classic books for Hassan, to the kite running competition. But jealousy in Amir results in some sour incidents which leads Hassan and his father to leave the house. This is before Amir along with his father become a part of the exodus of natives to America escaping the Soviet attack on Afghanistan.

Second half deals with Amir’s life in America depicting the immigrant’s hardships and emotions, his blooming romance, his father’s surrender to a tumor, his guilt ruling him of betraying his friend Hassan and the search for Hassan’s son back in Kabul.

In short the book is weaved on the relationships of a father and his son – Amir and his father, a master and his servant – Amir and Hassan, two good friends – Amir’s father and Rahim Khan, a silent romantic relationship between Amir and Soraya. There are some surprises too in store.

The book definitely highlights the sufferings and tragedies of a nation after a war and internal conflicts in a heart wrenching manner. The plight of orphaned children and woman are portrayed well in this write up. Well, towards the end at one point when we feel that things are getting settled with Amir, immigration problems comes as a monster which make the reader feel uneasy as it did with Amir. Thoughts go wild with the reader as it did with Amir. This is where the author succeeded. He could very well relate his protagonist with the reader; same with other characters like Ali, Rahim Khan and Soraya – Amir’s wife.

A definite read, the book is brought by Riverhead Trade in a paper back mode with 384 pages to gorge on. Kite Runner, definitely deserves a 8 rating. Go, Get it.

Popularity: 14%