I don’t know if it is the similarity regarding the way you say the names of these two cities or what – Mangalore / Bangalore. The similarities with incidents seem to have just followed.

Last week, a group of women were attacked on the rest house road, just off Bangalore’s happening Brigade road. I happened to speak to a friend of mine who was in someway connected to someone in the group that was impacted. This was a group of middle aged working women, pretty independent in their careers who decided to have a night out in a watering hole. They had finished paying the bills and were waiting outside for a few of their friends to return, some smoking a cigarette when the unimaginable happened.

A group of hooligans in a spanking new Audi SUV came tantalizingly close to hitting them while they were waiting outside. Bangaloreans know how wide our roads are! Being pretty independent women who have never been bullied, they protested. Their protest didn’t go too well with the men inside this millionaire toy! They came out cinema style hurtling abuses and not even hesitating to man handle / misbehave with these women! People attempting to help these women are beaten up, fear grips the place and everyone becomes a by stander including a patrol cop.

As the trauma for these women continues over the next 20 minutes as a cop van finally arrives. The hooligans apparently claim that the trouble was started by these women and ask for them to be arrested. Guess what? The cops comply and these poor women and the people who attempted to help are in the nearest police station. The arrested group realizes that the cops in the police station know these hooligans. The inspector refuses to accept a complaint from the lady impacted most,  on the grounds that she was drunk and couldn’t speak to local language forcing another “not so drunk and local language speaking” lady to lodge the compliant.  Accepted with resistance and jeers from the hooligans, the situation calms down to re-start the next day.

Being fairly “connected”, some of these ladies reached out to their  friends in the media, some to other friends in a position of influence overnight and through the early part of the day. A 6 hour stint at the police station with both parties, an audience for the local MLA with the head of the station and an audience for the affected ladies with the constables, it all happens before someone decided to accept a complaint and file an FIR – needless to mention, the complaint one sided! The rest is history and the numerous forwards doing the rounds say it all. For a change, the media did a good job to get some facts to light – from getting the number of the car published to identifying the names of the folks, they did it all. But guess where the hooligans are? Not in jail!!

Why does one have to protest so much to have an FIR registered? Aren’t all citizens equal under the law? How does it matter how high up you are? So much of hell for these poor women who just wanted to have a nice evening outside together!

I compare this situation with something I recently saw in the States. I was walking from my hotel to the office and there were two cars parked on the road. They had an accident and there was so much calm. The two people involved just sat calmly in their cars and waited for the police to arrive. As a curious Indian onlooker, I hung around to see how the situation was being handled. I was amazed to see the way the whole issue was handled – calm, composed and quite. The only noise was that of the EMS vehicle!

If lives are lives around the world, why does our system treat them differently? Being connected or having the money means nothing if you are guilty – period. If protests and connections are an absolute pre-requisite to get an FIR lodged, welcome to living in Bangalore. I am sure the scene is the same wherever we are in India. It may be a Bangalore today – who knows what’s up tomorrow.

Image Credit: Mamchenko

Popularity: 14%

Every other day I read about the so called extreme right wing organizations issuing diktats against women wearing Noodle straps , pub culture or women drinking . I have 3 questions..

1) Is pub culture good or bad?
2) Why is there gender discrimination in drinking – is it ok for men to drink and not for women?
3) Can people take law into their own hands?

Partying is not a special right for any one. Everyone has right to party. You can’t chase people on roads and beat them to preserve culture.

India is the largest democracy in the world. We govern ourselves according to the will of a majority of people. If noodle straps or “pub culture” or women drinking is against our culture, there should be a civilized debate over it in a public forum. And if there are enough merits supporting the case that the pub culture is bad or that women drinking is bad or against our culture, it can be enacted into a law. This is the right way to approach cultural issue or any other issue. There is no place in our democracy for issuing diktats. Extremists and the so called “leaders” with an obviously misdirected and personal agenda are the Taliban of India and we should strongly reject their agenda and protest taking culture into their hands. They are not the upholders of our culture.

If drinking in a pub is OK for men, it should be OK for women too. A woman going to a pub for a drink should be able to handle herself without expecting protection from anyone. The ‘pub culture’ is a little hazy. If it means there shall be no restriction whatsoever on dress code and various other public behavior, it is wrong. There is a law against exhibitionism and indecent exposure – by both men and women. A person can’t violate this law claiming ‘fundamental freedom’. Freedom is not absolute. Anybody living in a civilized society is subject to norms of acceptable civilized behavior. If anybody has problems with it, let them have the law changed in a democratic way. Until then, obey the law of the land.

Governments have vote bank considerations and are not able to take action against any moral brigade. Why can’t these rulers see things from National interest angle? National interest must be supreme in the mind of every Indian.

Extremist leaders do not understand the meaning of freedom and culture and liberty. They are trying to propagate is orthodox culture. Culture is never static and changes with time. The culture we have today will not be there after 40 years and the culture that was there 60 years ago is not there today. In my grandfather’s days none of the men used to wear trousers and wore lungis or dhotis. I wonder why these culture preserving extremists wear trousers! How can you preserver something that is meant to change.

Extremist leaders have a serious lack of maturity. They do not realize how they get their salaries or how they earn their money. Today for any person money comes from ECONOMY and economy is a result of global commerce , to be successful in global commerce in a long term you need to have meaningful innovation , to have solid innovation you need to have free culture , free culture is the way. You restrict the culture you kill the progress.

There is a famous saying ‘A common man believes in religion , a wise man calls it false , a politician call is useful. Religion is opium for masses and these guys have had an over dose of it.’

I am sure after 3 to 4 generations when all these old-traditional people will die their natural deaths, we will see a new free India

Image Credit: Liberal Mind

Popularity: 31%

Pooja is a good friend of mine who lives in Mumbai. Having worked for me for over a year at an American Bank, she choose to be on her own and has been reasonably successful at that, with her fledgling entrepreneurial venture, her staffing consultancy.

Pooja was on chat with me the other day and said that her neighbor got married. I don’t know who her neighbor was, but wondered what was wrong with her! She went on and said, got married to a lady! I knew for a fact that Pooja had lost it! Wondering whether it was the effect of some weekend partying or the stress of being on her new venture that was getting to her, I kept getting on with work shaking my head in disbelief wondering if Pooja was mad before I hurriedly typed in a few notes to her before running off for a meeting.

I returned after a couple of hours and Pooja had left a series of messages for me. I read through and realized that her neighbor was actually a SHE and she had gotten married to another SHE! Her neighbor was also the HE in the marriage!

Being a very gracious person, she obviously went on to greet her neighbor and also had a chance to see pictures of the wedding. I don’t know if she got invited to the wedding or not, but what she had to say of the pictures she was very reminiscent of any other Indian women. Shaking her head in utter disbelief and wondering what the world was going to, she is a today a worried lady.

Chatting on, I asked her what was so “scary” about the whole thing. She said her little daughter; all of 3 odd years old was that neighbor’s favorite kid in the apartment complex. That put it in perspective for me. To make matters worse for her, her daughter happens to be in that stage of life where kids are all over us with questions! Questions that sometimes put us in a spot as we don’t know what to say when we get asked those questions! The little kid obviously heard that the aunty next door got married and was looking all over her house for the uncle!! No one told the poor kid that the aunty was actually the uncle in the wedding!

The news obviously spreads! In a society that is still waking up to the realities of homosexuality amid law makers around the world who are confused on whether to let this pass or otherwise, Pooja’s maid is one of those who is yet to recover from this shock. Coming from probably the lowest social strata of Mumbai, the maid apparently spent 3 hours in Pooja’s house holding her head in disbelief and wondering whether she needs to continue working for the neighbor, that she’s worked for nearly 3 years now. An educated Pooja and the worried mom that she is, is equally baffled and doesn’t know how to react.

I’m not out to pass a judgment on what is right or wrong! I just spare a thought for a good friend who’s been hit by a reality, a reality that you would typically hear / read of happening in California or somewhere else in Europe, but this time literally at her next door.

I once happened to stray off into the SOHO area of London on my last trip there, a short walk from the Oxford Street shopping area. It was one of those days when I just went wandering aimlessly, (certainly not looking for anything) when I quickly realized that I was on a street very popular for the gay men on London. Young boys were howling and screaming, expressing their love for each other on the streets. Waking alone, I felt my heart palpitating and the fear of being at risk, the risk of being physically assaulted maybe! Something that I’d never ever dreamt off ever. The ensuing 5 minutes were probably the scariest 5 minutes of my life.

More recently, we had an overseas visitor whom we were hosting. As a courtesy, my boss had to take him to dinner one of the days. My boss called me and asked me to join in. It was kind of last minute for me and I asked him why me? He explained that he was gay and my being along made him feel more comfortable! It was a hurried affair and both of us used the first available option to get back home early.

Being able to relate with what Pooja is going through as a result of my 5 minute trauma, I wonder how we are going to start accepting this new world reality. A recent Hindi movie, Dostana had my wife and me in splits. Being a very silent person, I’ve never ever seen my wife laugh so much ever! While the fun part of the movie has us in splits, we need to quickly understand that the changing preferences are probably a new world order. With laws likely to come in around this, we need to understand that people are people at the end of it and we need to respect individual choices. It’s probably a lot like someone smoking or drinking!

Incidentally, Pooja ensures that her doors are firmly bolted at all times and talks about this to all her friends. Amused at what we hear and enjoying a good laugh, we rag her saying “Pooja’s neighbor is gay!”. The trouble however is that the changing world can throw up one such neighbor for you anytime!

Image Credit: TNT Blonde

Popularity: 42%

Sumathi The Rebellious

Sumathi sounded very iconoclastic in her recent article India – A Land Of Compulsions. Her article was seething with anger and frustration about Indian society and particularly with Dr.Anbumani Ramadoss for cracking down on smoking, drinking and i-pill. She sounded rebellious and anti-establishment. According to her, “banning the spirit is just not on…..and ultimately, if our leaders want to do all our thinking we might as well be born without brains.”

Muthalik The….

A few young people in Mangalore were roughed up on January 25, by members of Sri Ram Sene founded by Pramod Muthalik. The hooligans chased five or six girls out and attacked men who tried to protect them. There are also reports that the girls were molested. Members of the Sri Ram Sene have justified their actions.

Reactions

The reactions to the attack on the youngsters in the pub came thick and fast. The comments represented extreme polarities, and some made themselves ludicrous for their ability to do the chameleon act while others expressed thoughts of resignation.

The National Commission for Women whose representatives were all rage and picture of consternation immediately after the incident, did a volte-face two days later. NDTV reported, “Blaming security lapses in the Mangalore pub incident, the NCW said on Friday that it will recommend cancellation of license of the restaurant as it was supposed to serve only food to guests.”

Here is another one. Dsilva in NDTV blog, on  Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Hi everyone, I would like to convey one thing, this is not the first time where it has brought shame to our country or people crying out for help or demanding the arrest of the culprits. This is happening often in our country and people responsible for it will be simply watching it, so please without wasting your time, carry on with your work.

Dear D’Silva, You may be right and I should perhaps wind up, right now and here, embrace sleep and just forget about these calamitous happenings around us. After all, why should I worry about some self professed social activists reaping the whirlwind and enjoying their hero-hood and time on prime-time news? Why bother about possibly, idealistic, good, sincere boys and girls hiding in the shadows – ostracized, labeled un-Indian, immoral and what not? But D’Silva, bear with me a while longer because I have a self imposed mission today – to delve deep under the surface and discover what makes Sumathi – apparently a very sincere and straight forward girl or lady – very angry and rebellious and why people like Pramod Muthalik are able to sit in self-righteous condemnation.

Bernard Shaw’s Joan of Arc

I now remember the lesson behind Bernard Shaw’s ‘Joan of Arc’, a brilliant play, where Joan of Arc, from her humble beginning as a peasant girl, goes to help the French army to drive out the English from France in the 15^th century while she was still in her teens. Unable to match her achievements and popularity, she is betrayed, tried in a court, sentenced and then consigned to the flames of the stake, by a body of powerful political and church leaders like Bishop Cauchon. And the reason? Because she listened to God directly without mediation from priests and she wore man’s dresses etc.

In the Epilogue of the play, Shaw makes out the case that Bishop Cauchon too was a sincere man and he believed he was acting for the good. “The tragedy lies in human nature itself, which involves us all. According to him, the play is a tragedy without villains, for everyone, in some way or another, believes he or she is acting for the good.”

What Shaw tells us is that we too would burn Joan at the stake if we got the chance.

The Strange Thing About Conscience

Several years ago, I saw a beautiful movie, “The Fixer.” It is about the experience of a Jew in a German prison. There are two hauntingly powerful sentences in the movie I somehow remember to this day, “What makes the world upside down is not madness. It is conscience.” Sumathi would lay claim to her conscience just as Pramod Muthalik would flaunt his as representing the truest of values. Forgive me Sumathi, for giving exalted status to those who you may consider ruffians. You must understand I am only trying my best to understand human nature. I cannot be in judgment-passing-mode, today.

Saint Exupery’s Message

The world cannot go on with such human tragedies. Perhaps we need to listen to the words of the famous French Pilot and writer, Saint Exupery,

What is essential is invisible to the human eyes. One can only understand with the eye of the heart.

Will You Promise, Muthalik ?

Sumathi, did you hear that? And you, Muthalik? Yes? Will you now promise you will not go back to restoring our honored Indian culture by beating our beautiful women blue even if they wear man’s clothes and go to a pub?

Good. Now I will go to sleep. And I will dream.

Popularity: 10%

Beauty Pageants are known for a long time in India. An Interesting fact to observe here is the frequency at which these Pageants have been moving, and the increase in the winning performance of Indian women on an international front.

India has always been making a mark amongst the other nations during the most prestigious Miss World Pageant ever since its inception in 1951.

Reita Faria was the first Indian to win the Miss World title in the year 1966. This pronounced the arrival of Indian women on a global platform. Later it paved the way for many more Indians to represent themselves in the world of beauty. The Indian glamour has been moving on from an embryonic stage to a blossoming stage from then onwards.

After a long hiatus, the year 1994 had a remarkable impact on Indian glamour industry when the duo Sushmita Sen and Aishwarya Rai won the Miss Universe and Miss World titles respectively.

Aishwarya Rai was the second Miss World from India who held the crown in year 1994. Her career as an actress took off from that moment onwards. She was the first Indian actress to be a part of the jury during the Cannes Film Festival. She made her place on the cover page of the Times Magazine. She has gained a significant level of exposure in Hollywood. The reigning queen of Indian cinema remains to be the most sought after actress. She became popular worldwide by making appearances in ”David Letterman Show”, “60 Minutes” and the most famous television programme ”The Oprah Winfrey Show”.

Sushmita Sen was the first Indian to win the Miss Universe title at the Pageant held at Manila, Philippines in 1994. She has proved to everyone that she is much more than just being beautiful.

This feat was further continued by many more young women who were representing India at the international Pageants. All these women had a winning combination of beauty, poise and intelligence and have made our country proud.

List Personalities who made it to the top:

These women represent the new class of "emerging" Indian women who see themselves as successful global ambassadors at the same time maintaining their traditions.

The success of Indian women continues to grow each year bringing back the coveted title to our country. Indian has risen to fame through various achievements notched up by these women.

India still proudly continues to celebrate its victory even today, as Parvathy Omnakuttan won the first runner-up title, at the Miss World 2008 event .

All these Indian winners of international beauty Pageants not only contributed for the nations pride but they also have redefined woman’s status and identity. They have succeeded in setting up new standards of womanhood for millions of young women all over the country.

Popularity: 51%

After the historic reforms that came up in the 1990s, India has been growing in leaps and bounds with its GDP at 8% consistently. Many Indian service providers especially the ones in the fields of IT, Pharma have emerged as global players.

According to one stat in the year 2007 a total of 676 M&A deals worth around $57 billion were signed. There have been predictions by many eminent Economists about India having a potential of becoming a super power by 2020. India Inc. has been growing and shining, but is our society also been growing the same way?

According to Compact Oxford Dictionary one of the synonyms for Society is

A particular community of people living in a country or region, and having shared customs, laws, and organizations.

One of the major benefits of Civilized Society is to co-exist with people from different cultures peacefully. But are we fully acknowledging the meaning of society or are we failing to address any of the above?

Let us look at a few facts:

• Over the past one and half decades there have been hundreds of cases in Kashmir where people have been disappearing. According to Human Rights Watch, most of the Kashmiris who have been picked for questioning by the Police or the Army have either been tortured brutally or have never returned.

• After the Demolition of Babri Masjid on 6^th Dec 1992, India got into a grip of communal violence. No part of the country was spared and around 1500 people were killed in violence that lasted for over a week

• In 2002, post Godhra, India was again on the brink where in Gujarat was a victim of communal riots, where two communities resolved to lawlessness. According to an official estimate, 1044 people were killed and 223 people were reported missing, 2,548 injured, 919 women widowed and 606 children orphaned.

• On an average, two Dalits are assaulted every hour, three Dalit women and children are raped, two Dalits are murdered, and at least two Dalits are tortured or burned every day

• According to a report a total of 7,913 complaints on Domestic Violence against women were filed in India. But there are many cases that have gone unreported resulting in dowry deaths.

• According to the National Commission of Human rights of India, more than 62,000 human rights violations are recorded annually.

Looking at all these facts one begins to wonder where are we heading as a society?

Popularity: 15%

So much has been talked about India in the last decade. It has become symbolic with growth, opportunity, power, knowledge etc.  I know of hardly any place where you can’t see an Indian.  I can’t speak the same for an American, a European or for that matter a Chinese.

Don’t get me wrong. I have high regards for these cultures but the fact is you don’t see an American in India that often – neither a European nor a Chinese. If you are lucky, then you’ll see a couple of them doing the rounds of The Taj.

Why is it that India gained so much prominence in the last couple of decades ? Have we accelerated in the last one decade much more than what we have done in centuries ? Or is it that our culture is so strong that whatever we do, gets showcased in a subtle manner ? Should we continue the journey of progress and if so, at what rate ?

There are many unanswered questions. But an energetic, youthful, aggressive, powerful India is what we will see in the coming decades. The signs have started showing already..That said there are many important social issues that need to be fixed for India to reign supreme. My vision for India are several and I have tried to put my two pennies here. Read on…

I come from a small village in Kerala, about 25 kilometers north of Calicut city a.k.a Kozhikode. Even today, if you go there today  you’ll see a  Dhoti or Mundu clad villagers moving around.  There is a sense of pride in them.  They do not know what is happening around the world –  whether it is a financial tsunami or an Obama, it doesn’t matter to them.  They care less for people beyond their immediate circles.  All they know is Onam, Shivaratri, Talappoli, Perunnal, Christmas, Thayampaka, Kathakali, Koodiattam, Working, Eating, Sleeping, Praying etc.

This is not the story of just Kerala – This is the story of rural India, where two thirds of our population live -from where many bright ambitious brains churn out with the hope of making India proud one day. Yet, they are insulated from the other parts of the world.

Am I proud of them ? …Of course. They are the keepers of our culture, the lords of our values, the foundation for the future generation – they are at their best where they are.

Do they need to know more than what they do ? Do they deserve a better life ? – Absolutely ! In fact, the prime focus for the next  two decades should be to uplift rural India. That should be the Vision No. 1 for India

Develop Rural India. Preserve Her Culture

Now look at the other side of the coin.

A 23 year old Manisha, hailing from the heart of Mumbai – Andheri.  A couple of years back she graduated from Mitthibai College with an Honors Degree in Commerce which helped her land a job in one of the leading BPO companies in India.

She worked hard for two years continuously before she was elevated to the post of a Team Leader in the same company.   She now leads a team of five business analysts – each one of them elder to her by at least 4 years.

Obvious question that comes to your mind – What is it that distinguishes Manisha from the rest of the lot ?

Manisha is living the Great Indian Dream – one in which women are the corner stone of society’s natural progression.  Until recently, women have been restricted to a traditional family where she never went to a college, did not work nor made any major decisions without the consent of her husband.

Times are changing and women like Manisha are the symbol of such changes in India.  There is no better sight in the world than to see your wife, mother and sister happy.

Empower Women. Break Them Free !

What is your vision for India ? Post your comments below !

Popularity: 38%